Merry Christmas 2017

Christmas Eve.

It's a quiet evening at home with my family. Just the five of us. Munching on snacks, watching movies, and maybe a little dancing around the Christmas tree later.

When I was a little girl I used to love dancing to carols in the soft light of the tree, so my kids are learning to enjoy this simple thrill. Daddy had to put soft pads on the coffee table feet because we keep moving it out of the way, and though our laminate floor is fairly scratch resistant, we should at least try to be careful...

It's our first Christmas in our new Home.

Family Christmas Photo courtesy JCP Portrait Studio.

It was not a great experience but the pictures turned out nice.

And to all those who had to ask for our new address for Christmas cards...again...I'm really hoping you won't have to ask that question for many, many years. Maybe ever???

That was our big news for 2017. Building our new home on the Seely family farm where Adrian grew up. Of course, we had Bay to Beach Builders construct the home and we love it! We got the keys on St. Patrick's Day, March 17, and have been working on getting settled in ever since.

About a month later, we celebrated Judah's 2nd birthday on our backyard deck. He's grown so much since then that people rarely believe me when I say he's only two. He is still passionate about tractors, monster trucks, fire engines, and pretty much anything on wheels. Daddy has trained him well to have good manners, often saying Please, Thank you and "Are you OK?"  Judah's sisters love him dearly, as long as he's not messing with their toys or games (which is fairly often...)

Big sister Johanna just turned 6 in early December. She is as energetic and vibrant as ever, making friends everywhere she goes. Kindergarten is going well and it's great watching her learn to read and write. Sometimes all that energy makes it hard for her to sit still in class, especially when talking with her two buddies. Her sweet smile took on a new look when she lost both her front teeth the same week at the beginning of the school year.

Biggest sister Adria is now a 9 year old third grader! She just had a very busy month as she participated in the local High School theatrical production of Miracle on 34th Street, which she absolutely loved. She continues to excel in school, earning straight A's and Student of the Month honors. The teachers and school staff continue to amaze me with how they care for her and her unique needs, even buying her a special scooter to help with her long walk to the playground.

Mommy's big accomplishment for the year was training for and running a full marathon - 26.2 miles on October 21, starting at the Dover Downs Speedway. It was very difficult but motivating, so I ran a half marathon on Johanna's birthday, Dec. 2, and finished the 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 10 minutes. Otherwise, I stay busy selling new homes full time and raising these three kiddos.

Johanna - 6, Adria - 9, Judah - 2

Daddy's year has been very active with moving into the new home and spending countless hours on landscaping and trying to make a once heavily wooded property, a beautiful lawn. When Adrian is not busy cleaning house and caring for the little ones, he gets out disc golfing and has recently become more interested in hunting, both shot gun and bow.

We give thanks to God for His blessings this year. May you have a blessed Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

With Love,
The Seelys

Christmas Eve in our Living Room

 

Why I ran a Marathon again. 10 years later.

Runners from across the country, even as far away as Denmark, gathered around Miles the Monster at Dover International Speedway on Saturday morning, October 21 for the seventh annual Monster Mash Marathon.

Among them was me, Julleanna Seely - 35 year old mother of three, participating in my second full marathon exactly ten years after running my first marathon.  I was one of about 200 participants running the 26.2 mile distance through Dover and Little Creek area, while another 300 ran the 13.1 mile half marathon, with all proceeds supporting the Wounded Warrior Project.

I crossed the finish line 4 hours 49 minutes and 41 seconds after the 7:00 a.m. start. At this 11 minute per mile pace, I finished almost an hour and a half after the lead female runner but I was still pleased with the result. I was hot and barely plodding along with no runners around when I came near the end, but I was rallied on those final steps of the endurance run with cheers from my children, parents, brother and mother in law at the Finish!

Knowing my family was waiting at the finish gave me the strength to push on and keep running through those long, hot final miles. My goal was to beat the time of my first marathon, which took 5 hours and 2 seconds, so I’m happy with a finish more than 10 minutes faster. I actually ran the first half of the marathon with a great time of 2 hours 12 minutes, but at mile 16 the weariness started to hit and the second half took much longer.

Much has changed since I ran the Nike Women’s Marathon 10 years ago in San Francisco, California. At that time I was 25 and married 4 years to Adrian, but we had no children yet. Running a marathon was a life goal, even though my longest race prior to the start of training in 2007 was just a 5K, which is 3.1 miles.

I always knew I would run a marathon again, but life brought many setbacks in the years that followed.I had run some over the years since, and even completed three half marathons, but I was not a consistent runner. Earlier this year, I was feeling lazy and at my heaviest I had ever been more than a year post pregnancy. A weight-loss challenge at work in the spring kick-started my desire to get healthier and run more.

When I realized this summer that October 21 would be the ten year anniversary of my big run, I knew it was time. It was my way of facing all those hardships from the past and saying…I am not beat down. I am stronger. I am better. I can do anything with Christ who strengthens me!

In late July, I set up a training program with the Runkeeper App on my phone and went from running about 15-20 miles per month to over 70 and even 117 miles in September.

THE TEN YEARS BETWEEN MY MARATHONS

It was just a few months after the first marathon, when Adrian and I found out we were expecting our first child. It was a very exciting time until an ultrasound around 20 weeks gestation revealed that our baby had a severe birth defect called Spina Bifida, myelomeningocele.  Doctors explained how the spinal cord had not formed properly and protruded from the lower back which could result in challenges including some paralysis often requiring a wheelchair for mobility, lack of bowel/bladder control, fluid build-up on the brain, possible learning delays and much more. Then they gave us the option to terminate the pregnancy. Despite the difficult news, we had also just learned our baby was a girl, and we were prepared to love and raise her, no matter the challenge.

Today, our daughter Adria is a nine-year old third grader who is precious and loved by all who know her. She is a straight A student who is actively involved in her school and community and easily recognized walking through the halls with her colorful leg braces and big smile.

A year after Adria was born, our little family faced another difficult health surprise when my 31 year old husband had a series of three grand mal seizures, causing significant physical and mental pain. Multiple tests and years of doctors visits never pin-pointed a reason for the seizures or a cure, just lots of different medications. Adrian has continued to sporadically have seizures since, often a few times a year and going 18 months seizure free at the longest period.  They were intense and painful seizures, sometimes causing major injury and hospital visits. 

Financial struggles as a result of medical expenses and a bad housing market resulted in us selling our home in Delaware in 2010 and moving to Indianapolis, Indiana. We had some great experiences there and one of the big blessings during this season was that our sweet Adria learned to use a walker for mobility at age 2, then she took her first steps without a walker just before turning 3.

But the challenges continued in early 2011 when I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks gestation that resulted in emergency surgery – a painful and heart-breaking time.   

It was not long before I became pregnant again and beautiful baby Johanna was born at the end of that year. She was healthy and a great blessing but in the early months of her life, I found myself battling a severe case of post-partum depression. In the heart of that lonely Indiana winter, Adrian had back-to-back seizures that left him unable to help much and I spent weeks of my maternity leave crying and battling health insurance issues.

Adrian’s youngest sister came to live with us and be a Nanny to the girls, so I could go back to work. She learned to clean up Johanna's regular spit up and care for Adria’s unique needs, like catheterization and putting on her leg braces. Still, the 12+ hour distance between us and our family back in Delaware was too great.

In late summer 2012, we moved back east to a charming community in Chesterfield, Virginia where we would be just 3 hours from our parents. I worked for the same company during these moves, with my sales ability allowing fairly easy transfers within Ryan Homes, one of the largest home builders in the country. Adrian really loved life in Virginia, but when his seizures reappeared in a serious way, we knew we needed the support of family just minutes away.

Only 8 months later, I took a new job with a local home builder in the town of Greenwood where our parents live and we moved back to Delaware in spring 2013. Two years later, we were blessed with a precious baby Boy. Judah was cute as could be and brought renewed life and hope to his discouraged Daddy.

My pregnancy with him was much harder on my body than the girls and I gained a lot more weight, but he was happy and healthy and my heart was full of thanks. And then life’s challenge became balancing the demands of a special needs child in school, an energetic pre-schooler, a nursing newborn and a full-time job as sole income provider!

With Adrian’s unfailing support and expertise as a stay-at-home Dad, we found a rhythm of life and 2016 was by far the most successful sales year of my career. It was also the year we decided to build our New Home, a place we would plan to stay for many years and raise our family. A home built on the same land where Adrian ran through the woods as a child. A place of hope and healing for us.

We moved into our Dream Home in March 2017.

When summer hit, and I realized that this year marked 10 years since I took on the challenge of running a full marathon, I reflected on these last 10 years. All the pain, all the trials, all the joys, all the moves, all the unknowns, all the life they have held. I felt like this season needed a book-end. I took on the challenge of a marathon before some of life’s greatest challenges came along. I was strong enough to take on the challenge now!

So I did. I woke up at 6 a.m. three mornings a week, and I ran. And on October 21, 2017 I ran 26.2 miles (with some walking) and completed my second full marathon. It was hard, but I was victorious!

As I look to the next decade of my life, I am full of HOPE.

Hope that my husband can live a seizure-free life.
Hope that my daughter Adria can continue to succeed in school and her life pursuits, not letting spina bifida hold her back.
Hope that all my children can live and grow in a consistent, stable home environment.
Hope for my own dreams of writing more and continuing to Run. 
Thank you, God, for Hope.         

Building our Home Together

It was a cold January day in 2016 when my husband and I walked through the dense woods across the street from his childhood home.

Adrian knows these woods well. They have been owned by the Seely family for generations. He spent his youth exploring, hunting, fishing and swimming in these woods and streams with his brothers and sisters.

He brought me to an area dense with briers.

"This would be a great spot for a home," Adrian said. His parent's 100+ year old farmhouse was barely visible across the field through the thick vegetation. He pointed out how the ground was high, and there were some great trees to keep and many to be removed. He pictured where the driveway would come in off the road and how far back the home should sit. He saw it all.

He had the vision.

That was the start of it. Just over a year ago, we began to pursue this new idea of building another home on the Seely farm. It almost seems surreal that here we are now, just weeks away from moving into this beautiful, new home.

And it has taken shape just as Adrian envisioned.

Our new home covered in its first snow in January 2017 - one year after we walked the property to decide where to build.

Yes, we have built before - 2 other new homes in fact. Yes, we have moved many times.

But this home. THIS HOME IS DIFFERENT.

This is the home we are building for our precious family of 5. More than that, we are building it WITH our children. We are building it TOGETHER. We are planning to raise our children in the same woods where their Daddy enjoyed countless adventures and created many memories.

Adrian designed the home, with some input from me and Monty, an expert home designer where I work. I selected most of the finishes, with Adrian's support and feedback.  And Bay to Beach Builders, where I sell new homes, is doing the hard work of managing construction. (Praise the Lord!)

Now let me tell you WHY we are building.

Looking back a year to the first week of 2016, we were extremely discouraged. It was anything but a "happy new year" when we were hit with some difficult financial news and serious health issues. It reminded me of another time when we felt life was throwing us some tough punches - Click to read "Like Blows in a Boxing Match."

One Sunday morning during this time I was at church with our 3 children. As the congregation sang together in praise and worship, I felt a touch from the Lord.

It was a passionate urging to BELIEVE that even though we were distraught and even though another year started with a bad incident like we had seen before...it would not be a bad year. No, God had the power to make it great.

My heart pounded as I walked to the front of the church with nine-month-old Judah on my hip. I shared what was on my heart with a couple in leadership, and they prayed with me. It wasn't anything super emotional or hyped up. But I took that step forward in faith, and I believe God heard that cry for help and the passionate desire for a positive change!!

In early 2016, as we were seeking God's direction, Adrian had several scriptures speak to his heart.
Months later, we wrote several of them on the framed walls of our new home. Truths to hold onto, forever built into our home.

Within weeks, we found ourselves walking through those woods and talking with his parents about our idea to build a new home within walking distance of them.

In the following months, there were countless hurdles to cross and steps to take toward acquiring the property and preparing to build. But the doors kept opening. New homes sales took off in the second quarter, and 2016 ended up being my best year of my career. Plus, we were able to sell the home that we still owned in Virginia to the family who had been renting it from us since our difficult yet miraculous sudden move in March 2013.

We currently live in a great little community, but country living is in my husband's blood. We believe the freedom and serenity of very familiar land and open space around us is the best lifestyle or "medical treatment" for his seizures. Plus, it's a wonderful environment for raising our children, especially with Adrian's parents and some of his siblings right across the street.

He is looking forward to teaching our children to fish in the stream that runs a few hundred feet behind our new house. And they'll build forts. And explore the trails looking for animal tracks. And swim in the creek. And drive golf carts and four-wheelers around the property.

It will be a good life.


Truly, we have come full circle. We are building our home next door to the home we first rented as a newly married couple 13 years ago. It belonged to Adrian's great aunt, until she passed away, and now is home to a sweet retired couple.

A lot of life and homes and moves have happened in the 13 years we've been married, but we feel so thankful and blessed for this opportunity. Not only are we building a great Home in a great spot, but our three young children are here to enjoy the experience with us.

God is answering our prayers in a big way. We have been on a wild journey, and there's still much to come, but we sincerely hope and believe this is HOME. A place to stay. A place to find peace.

Psalm 37:3-5

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.

5 Going on 15

Her energy and spunk is unmatched. She is a vibrant free spirit, daring you to cross her path. She has a sensitive heart, easily touched by loss or sadness. She is a princess and a fashion diva. She is a dark-haired, blue eyed beauty. She is 5 going on 15.

That's our little Johanna Belle!

Johanna on the right with her cousin Sophie, who also has a December birthday and will be 9.

CELEBRATIONS

Yesterday we celebrated her fifth birthday. She shared cupcakes and snacks with her friends in afternoon pre-school, that's in the same public school where her big sister Adria attends second grade. And in the evening, Mommy rushed home from work to pack up the girls, helium balloons, and decorations and grab the cake and fruit tray. Then drive south to the Stratosphere Trampoline Park, where we barely made it in time for her 6:30 party. But we did!

Johanna and a few friends spent the next hour and a half jumping and running around a building full of trampolines. Pretty fun once you got past the overwhelming stench of stinky feet and sweat. Ha! I was thankful the party came together successfully after a day, where I had "dropped the ball" on so many other things that I may as well have been swimming in giant ball pit...

Trampoline Park = perfect place for Johanna to let her energetic side be free!

And there were LOTS of trampolines and some good friends

Party Time

Last Saturday, we enjoyed a little celebration that my mom planned for Johanna and her cousin Sophie, who turns 9 in December. It was a special day for my sister and I, along with our three daughters to spend together with my mom at the American Girl store in Tyson's Corner. They have a very pink Cafe with a birthday luncheon menu that also includes a personal cake, ice cream and fun goody bag for the dolls, who sat in their booster seats with us.

Three cousins enjoying a special birthday lunch at the American Girl Cafe and store last weekend!

When the day first started our birthday girl, Johanna, was in a grump-tastic mood...Irritating...but thankfully, she calmed down and we were all able to enjoy this unique experience.

SENSITIVE FASHIONISTA

I say that Johanna is 5 going on 15, not because I want to rush her growing up in any way, but because this girl is always surprising me with the mature nature of what she wants.

In her perfect world, she wears a dress with tights and high heels every day. But that's not always appropriate, so we often have the "what to wear" battle. She loves to try on big sister's play make-up. She wants to dye her hair, paint her nails, and she regularly wears about 10 bracelets on her wrist. She has even asked me how soon she can start shaving her legs!! Spare me...

At school, her teachers say she is their little fashionista. Her style is bold, colorful and nearly always involves a dress or skirt. Jeans are an absolute NO. Only leggings are acceptable.

Johanna loves to sing and dance, and she's provided great entertainment for her little brother Judah for the full 19 months of his life. He's laughed at her more than anyone else and is generally patient with her extra strong hugs and forceful kisses.

This year we've seen Johanna begin to excel in her learning. She's taken longer than her sister to conquer ABCs and 123s but is making great progress. She'll spend time looking at books and magazines, though the iPad is definitely preferred.

I love her adventurous spirit. When we brought the kids to Hershey Park this summer, she wanted to ride all the FAST rides that her big sister was afraid of. And she was deeply disappointed that she was too short for the roller coasters, except for the smaller one.

Yet behind this wild, fashionista exterior lies a soft heart full of Love. She often randomly says, "I love our family! I love everyone!"  She's become the first to volunteer to say prayers at the dinner table, even if it's a big family dinner with many gathered. She remembers her great-grandma (my maternal grandmother) who died two years ago and who she only saw a few times.

Just recently Johanna said, "I really miss Great-Grandma. I don't remember what she looks like. I really love her a lot." Then tears fell down her sweet cheeks. There are moments when she cries easily because her heart is touched. Even a child's story I read the other night about a boy and his mother growing up had her crying. Ok, ok, I shed a few tears too. It's a sensitivity she carries that is not always obvious.

And tonight, as is the case every night, she has her two favorite blankets with her in bed, the pink bear and green fuzzy froggy blankets (that were passed down from when Adria was a baby). They provide her comfort as she sleeps. Because sometimes she is afraid of Monsters.

But it was a conversation about fear and monsters with Daddy, that ultimately resulted in her praying to ask Jesus in her heart a few months ago. She used to wake up yelling in the night, but it's very rare since she asked Jesus to be with her.

Yes, she is just now 5. I see a powerhouse in the making in Johanna. The future is hers to embrace. She walks her own unique path and goes after what she wants with a vengeance.

I try to remember this will serve her well in life, when it's driving me crazy at home :)  Thank you, Lord, for this precious, healthy little girl.

Health Insurance Disaster...and Trump

A week has passed now, since I stayed awake until 3 a.m. on Wednesday watching TV.  Like millions of Americans, I was fascinated by the presidential election results and the response of the media as Donald Trump took the lead and eventually gave his victory speech.

I was among those who were thankful for this result, even though I live in Delaware, a state that's gone Democratic blue in every election since I was 10 years old. But noone really cares about Delaware's 3 electoral votes. Still, I vote.

I am not one of those Republicans who thinks Hillary is evil. She has merit, experience and good leadership qualities. And sure, I believe a female president would be a great step for our country. But, I fear her liberal agenda and what it would mean to people like me - the hard-working middle class Americans who pay big taxes and make this country tick.

The Healthcare Factor

And the single, most influential issue that guided my vote was our current Health Insurance Disaster.

While there were many times this election season that I was disappointed and even disgusted with things I heard from Trump, I believe that he will work with the Republican party to strengthen and support America's working class. I hope and pray that his leadership will be able to make very positive improvements to our nation's healthcare.

As we all know, it was a huge agenda for Obama's administration, but from my perspective (and that of many others that I talk to) the Affordable Care Act has turned into a Disaster!

And my guess is that the timing of our health insurance renewal notices played a big part in getting many of those Red voters out on election day.

The very week before the election, we received a brochure in the mail encouraging us to "Get on the FAST TRACK with Confidence." That felt like a slap in the face.

The brochure cover that inside told me that my monthly premium was going up over $400!
I felt anything but the elation this guy portrays...

It was from Highmark BlueCross BlueShield. In the most delicate way possible, it explained the "3 EASY STEPS" for continuing our health coverage for next year. Apparently, my current plan has been replaced.

A table compared my plan from 2016 to the one they are proposing for 2017. Allow me to share some highlights:

• 2016
• $3,000 Family Deductible
• $7,000 Out-of-Pocket Maximum
• 0% co-insurance and hospital services after deductible
• $1,512.50 Monthly Premium
• 2017
• $2,000 Family Deductible
• $12,000 Out-of-Pocket Maximum
• 20% co-insurance and hospital services after deductible
• $1,937.05 Monthly Premium 

Good News: Our deductible would go down $1,000/year.

Bad News: My monthly premium would increase over $400!!!! Everything else is worse coverage. Plus, co-pays are higher.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! How is this even legal? Last year, my premium went up over $300 a month! In just the last two years as Obamacare has taken root, my insurance premiums have increased almost $800 a month MORE THAN what they were for the same type of coverage. That's simply ridiculous and cannot be labeled "Affordable Care".

I work very hard and provide a good living for my family. And as my blog talks about, we have significant medical needs every year due to my daughter's spina bifida and my husband's epilepsy. It burns me to my core to feel punished and backed into a corner with limited options.

So I sat in my bed late at night, after my three precious children had fallen asleep, and shared my heart and frustration with my phone. Then I shared the video on Facebook.

Soon I had a little army rallying around me. I knew that I was not alone in this mess. More than 120 friends shared my post and within days it had been viewed over 6,000 times! That's not exactly going viral, but that's much more response than I usually get.

Here's my video. This was off-the-cuff, so it's not polished or anything.



That was just a few days before the election. So again, I have hunch that millions of Americans finding out that they're going to struggle to afford basic health coverage played a big role in the election results.

And as I was filtering through the barrage of nauseating banter on all media about Clinton and Trump, a friend of mine shared openly about why she voted for Trump. And one of the comments summed it quite well I thought.

Reasons why Trump won

So for those who just cannot understand (cough, cough...the media) why so many "white women" voted for...gasp, Trump...here's one mom's reasoning:

1) he was the only pro-life candidate on the ballot, 

2) there are a lot of SCOTUS [Supreme Court] picks in play, and those last for a generation,

3) my healthcare premiums went up more than 20% this year for the third year in a row (and I didn't get to keep my doctor, as promised), and 

4) I wanted to send a strong anti-establishment message to the federal government and this might be my last chance to do so for a very long time.

There you have it. Why many of middle class America voted for Trump.

It's not that we love him, agree with all he says and all his policies. No. It's simply that given the two options, we believe he is the better choice for our future and our families. Clearly, there are about 60 million Americans who disagree.  

My few final thoughts 

In terms of our health care disaster, there are some good aspects of Obamacare, so I don't actually believe a full repeal is the answer. There is no easy answer, but something MUST CHANGE to stop premiums from going up 20-30% every year. We're about to send our country back into recession with this mess.

I am exploring other options for health insurance, but Delaware only has two private insurance companies. Aetna is our only other choice and a similar plan would have a premium over $1800 a month. Other options like Medi-share, don't appear to be a good solution due to our expected medical expenses and costly medical supplies that our daughter needs on a daily basis.

I want to stress that I am incredibly thankful for a great job that provides a wonderful living for my family. And I am thankful to have access to good health care. This is not to be taken lightly. Without insurance, we would have gone bankrupt. It is a privilege to live in a country that offers both quality care and insurance. But costs are getting way out of control.

And finally, Trump is just a man. I don't expect him or his team to solve all our nation's problems, but I do expect them to improve some major issues. And I do believe that he will work hard to do that. More than that, I hope and pray that in spite of his polarizing comments, Trump can prove himself a capable leader and that in time the divisiveness that is rampant among us will subside.  

8 is Great...mostly

I remember being 8 years old. I loved it. Sitting in my third grade class, I drew and retraced the infinite 8 shape again and again, believing that 8 was such a fabulous age that we should be able to take a break from school for that year. Seriously, I thought this. I was an A student and fairly social but awkward.

Now, I have an 8 year old daughter. It's still hard for me to wrap my head around this. Adria turned 8 on September 8, being born in 2008. (Almost as cool as her Aunt Lil who turned 8 on 8/8/88).

A friend told her it was her golden birthday - your birthday when you turn the age of your birth date. Adria loved that and frequently announced it.

Adria blows out 8 candles on the Poop Emoji cake that Daddy made, at her request. Haha!

She realized this year, after having it happen in kindergarten and first grade too, that she might always be the first one in her class to celebrate a birthday, since it falls just after the start of the school year. This also makes her possibly the oldest child in her second grade class.

Short and Sweet

Of course you wouldn't know it from her height. She is one of the shortest in her class. Her petite stature still causes people who don't know her ask if she is in Kindergarten. She gets exasperated by this. But still there are times she stands in front of the mirror at home, making sure she looks good for school, and complains that she looks like a Kindergartener.

At 3' 9" tall, she's only got an inch or so on her 4 year old little sister. Let me tell you, this makes clothes shopping a challenge - especially for pants. Plus, at close to 58 lbs. with a soft belly on her, we struggle. She really needs a size 8-10 around the waist, but then the legs on those... are sooo long. We have my mom hem pants up for her, but it's easier just to buy skirts and dresses for school. Adria doesn't like pants much anyway, she thinks they look boyish.

8 year old Adria kisses her 4 year old sister Johanna after school

From a spina bifida parents group online, I know that it's super common for our special kiddos to be shorter than average. It's mostly due to the low muscle tone in their legs and how that inhibits bone growth. Adria's feet are also the same size as her little sister's.

Adria's Birthday

We made sure our girl felt special on her 8th birthday. As I drove her to school that Thursday, her Grandpa (my Dad) met us and gave her a Rose. Her class sang her Happy Birthday to start the day. My mom surprised her at lunch, enduring the noise and heat of the school cafeteria that doesn't have AC. Adria's school nurse, that she visits everyday, gave her a special TY plush toy. Then her Granny Seely met me at the school in the afternoon to hand out Emoji cupcakes and snacks to her class.

Adria and mommy had fun making these Emoji cupcakes to share with her class on her birthday.

That evening I treated Adria out to a special mommy-daughter date night. She said, "Man, it's like today has been all about ME!"  Oh, she loved it.

I brought her to dinner at Red Lobster, where she ordered her own personal snow crab legs. She could not believe she got them all to herself. And of course the wait staff sang to her, as we shared her special dessert. She was in heaven.

Birthday dinner with mommy at Red Lobster. She loved her Snow Crab and dessert!

We finished her big day with a big event. Getting her ears pierced! She had been interested for a while but was always afraid of the pain. A few weeks before she told me she wanted her ears pierced for her birthday, so I surprised her. She was still nervous, but it was the cutest thing listening to her talk herself into being brave. And barely a flinch when the lady at Piercing Pagoda inserted her pretty pink stars.

The look just before getting her ears pierced...

During ear piercing... She did not make a sound

And after...She loves her pink stars!

Adria is quite pleased with her new look and very diligent about getting me to clean them every night, so they are healing great!

Not Feeling Well

After the high of her fabulous birthday, something happened the following week. Every day before school Adria was fussy and complaining of being tired. She lost her appetite. One day her school nurse called, and she was sent home with a fever over 101. She had pain in stomach and side. We thought it was strep throat or a UTI, but a trip to the pediatrician ruled out both of those. In the end, it must have been a viral thing or a cold. We're not sure.

She's feeling better, but my girl has been struggling emotionally. At school, her teacher says she does great and is the most social one in class, even to the point of being too chatty and laughy. She comes home with math and writing papers that have an A at the top.

But at home, we are having to work hard to encourage her nightly 15 minutes of reading. Many mornings she says she wants to stay home. She is more sensitive about her differences, not appreciating that people always ask why she wears legs braces. Her reply is simply, "Because I need them to help me walk."

Adria's braces (AFOs) through the years. She gets a new pair every year, sized specifically for her. Each of these features a unique design that she chose and represents precious steps and milestones in her journey with spina bifida.

Being a "Spina Bifida Person"

She has also been complaining more than ever about her necessary potty routines. Earlier this year, Adria achieved a huge step in independence. She learned to catheterize herself! This was BIG. We and the school nurse still provide some assistance, but she can sit on the potty and do this on her own now. It's wonderful! However, Adria dislikes having to do it. She's starting to be frustrated that this is part of her life. Four to five times a day...every day...this is how Adria must empty her bladder.

Even worse is the bowel routine we have to do every other night. It's a great system, called Peristeen, that made all the difference in reducing bowel issues. She is accident free most days, though she did have a bad stinky incident at school last week.

Peristeen requires an enema and sitting on the potting for at least 30 minutes while her bowels empty. Yeah, it's kind of gross and uncomfortable. And we don't like having to do this either, but at this point it is the best solution for enabling her to live as "normal" as possible.

It can be heart-breaking though. When she'll sit there and cry. And with a twinge of anger say, "I wish I wasn't a Spina Bifida person!"

She says this often. Ugh...what is a mother to say? It's tough to know, but I try to be understanding and encouraging.

We love our Adria so much. We are so proud of how independent and confident she is. We knew the "age of awareness" would be a tough time for us all. We pray that she can stay strong and positive and continue to defy the odds and be the amazing girl we've cherished since the day we found out she was going to be a "spina bifida person."

Here's to hoping 8 is great for her too.

Twenty Years in the Making

This is a story about a life-long friend of mine. An amazing woman with a special miracle.

Tall and slender with a long braid draped over her shoulder, Marisha chatters away with a charming southern accent. She picks up her fussing baby girl and holds her close, allowing her to nurse while she continues to share stories and funny quips about life.

Such a simple, even typical, moment I experienced with her last month. Yet an incredible story lies behind it.

Marisha's youthful look belies the fact that she is 42 years old. And 11 month old Rachel, is her miracle child, born to her and her husband after 20 years of marriage. Incredible.

For years and years they had prayed for a child. She watched and supported her two sisters as their families grew and they experienced mothering new life multiple times.

Finally, after 15 years of marriage, Marisha conceived and carried a baby boy. She was filled with joy. She was a mother. Praise the Lord! Her prayers had been answered.

But...she never had the chance to cradle her son. At 16 weeks along, there were complications and her pregnancy suddenly ended. Rian Jonathan went to heaven on 7/23/10.

"I never thought after all the prayers for him that he wouldn't stay here. Even as I laid in the hospital room after he was stillborn, I felt the prayers of the Saints and that peace of God all night." 

Marisha shared these words about that heart-breaking night. She said she stayed awake all night because every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was the small form lying at the foot of her bed.

Now, she held the love of a mother. And the ache of love lost. But the hope and belief that one day she would be able to hold and raise her own child.

Marisha kept believing. A few years passed by. And during that time, she had to say goodbye to her own mother Joy, a woman who was a very special kindergarten teacher to me.

In spite of her losses, Marisha held onto hope and continued to pray for a baby when others doubted.

In 2012, she had a vivid dream about having a daughter named Rachel and a younger son named Ian. Another three years later, part of that dream became reality.

By the grace of God, that pregnancy test plus sign showed up again in early 2015! It was happening. She had not even received shots or special treatments leading up to getting pregnant. How exciting! But still nerve wracking as she prayed over that life inside her to grow healthy and strong.

As she was praying for the new life growing inside, a close relative had a new baby. Unfortunately, life choices left them in a situation where they were unfit to parent the baby. Marisha stepped in to help provide care. Suddenly, she was both pregnant and caring for another baby! Yes, very tiring.

Marisha knew in her heart that she was carrying her daughter. Even before the ultrasounds confirmed it, she knew because of the dream.

Her miracle baby entered the world on 9/19/2015 at full-term, a beautiful and healthy girl. At long last, Marisha and her husband held their baby Rachel Denice. More than twenty years after their wedding.

"God healed my broken heart, but it was completed when Rachel was born!"

This week Rachel turned one year old. She's mommy's girl with bright eyes and a big smile. Like any baby, she's been a lot of work. She wakes up nearly every hour or two in the night. Her tummy does not tolerate many foods, so she's still nursing regularly and only eating tiny bits.

On top of the normal demands of learning to be new mom, Marisha had a big responsibility added to her plate a few months ago. There are now two young children from the family that needed support, and Marisha is their full-time guardian. That's right, three little ones under the age of three are in her home at once! Fortunately, her mother-in-law has moved in to help.

It's a different picture than what she dreamed of life as a new mom. And some days, drain her completely, especially when rest at night is so elusive. But she is a mother. Her heart's desire has at long last has been fulfilled. For that, she gives glory and praise to God.

And still holds onto hope for a son to hold.

Marisha and her miracle baby Rachel