She wants a Prince...and a baby

Last night as I was giving Adria a bath, I remarked on how tall she is now almost filling up the length of the tub and how I remember giving her a bath when she was just a little baby.

Her response. "Mommy, when I grow up I'm going to have a baby like you. Will that make you happy when your daughter has a baby, so you can have a baby again?"

"Yes, that will make Mommy happy, but that's a looooooooong way away!" I said. Really, I don't want to be thinking about my five year old being a mother...yet. She's not even in kindergarten, and she regularly talks about getting married and having children. I'm so not prepared for this stuff, even if I do find it a bit amusing.

Adria begins her love of babies as she helps mommy give her newborn baby sister a bath
(Dec 2011)

It makes me think of that day when we were sitting in the maternal fetal medicine office after hearing about Adria's diagnosis, and we were learning about spina bifida for the first time. We were trying to grasp what type of life our unborn daughter could expect. They told us that because of the damage to her spinal cord, she would likely have limited sensation from her waist down. I remember being concerned and asking if she would be able to have children. They said it would be possible, in fact one of their patient's was a pregnant woman who had spina bifida. That gave me a measure of peace for my little girl.

Adria regularly asks me questions like, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have a handsome prince like you?" Ah so cute. I do hope so. Though I know the fairy tale dream of a prince that she sees in so many children's books and shows is so very different from the reality.

My Prince with our little princesses.

Yes, I am blessed with a handsome "prince" who treats me well, especially when he's healthy. But I have so many friends who are still hoping and dreaming that there is a man out there for them, while others suffer the heartbreak of love lost, and still many more live daily with a man who frustrates them to pieces.

Indeed on an especially tough day, you might catch me changing the final words in one of the girl's storybooks. For instance instead of the tale of Beauty and the Beast ending with "The Beast transforms back into the Prince, and the two live happily ever after."  I might say something like "...and the two faced many surprises in life and had to work hard to grow in love and support their family."  I know, I know, that takes some magic out of the fairytale, but sometimes it's ok to throw in a reality check. Don't you agree?

Yet, I hold out hope that she'll find a great prince because there are many wonderful mothers I know who are raising young men. Consider this my thank you, mothers of little boys. Thank you for loving on your little men and teaching them the best way you can to be respectful and thoughtful (of course I know it often doesn't seem like they're listening.) Keep at it, and we'll do our best to raise a couple gracious and loving little princesses.

And if your little man does happen to capture my daughter's hand...many, many, many years from now... I have a message for him.

He needs to buy her pearl earrings on their third Christmas together.

She requested this one night as I was putting her down to bed and she commented on my pretty pearl earrings. I told her Daddy gave them to me before she was born. She said, "When I grow up, I want my husband to buy me those earrings on our third Christmas." Duly noted, my dear. I have officially notified some potential future mother-in-laws :)

Oh my dear sweet daughter, I hope and pray that you will one day meet a wonderful prince who loves you tenderly and leads you confidently. And I hope that you'll experience the joy of motherhood.