The Last Seizure...IN HIS WORDS

My husband is an incredible man.

Though I have walked with him through the valley of the shadow of death, I know that I can never fully understand what he has endured these last few years. His life truly changed when the seizures began. They have robbed him of so many things. He has wanted to give up after they happen, and sometimes he had to for a time. But, he does get back up again. Even if it's a forced effort one day at a time.

He has decided to begin sharing his story from a very personal perspective that I cannot give. He will occasionally be contributing posts about how epilepsy has impacted his life. It made be hard to understand some of the things he shares, since the type of seizures he has are not that common or easily comprehended when you don't experience them first-hand. But, I am so glad that he is wanting to do this and hope that he can have continued healing in the sharing.

His first post is about the most recent...and most severe...seizure that he experienced. He said it was difficult to write this; even the memory had him shaking.

Daddy and his girls on Father's Day 2013

 

IN HIS WORDS:

I believe that everyone has a story and that each one is unique and important in its own way. I believe in sharing stories and learning from others stories but I don’t believe in comparing stories to see who has had it the “worst.” So when I tell others that I have seizures, and they begin to tell me their story, I usually just listen and offer my sympathy while keeping my story to myself. Now, I am sharing my story in the hopes that some aspect of it may help someone. My name is Adrian Seely, and this is part of my story.

The day is March 8 of 2013 and I am standing in the service department of a Honda dealership in Chesterfield, Va. I am dropping off one of our vehicles to get serviced and waiting for someone to come get the keys and fill out the paperwork for me. And then the lights went out, my lights anyway. The next thing I know I am starting to regain consciousness and I am overwhelmed physically, mentally, and emotionally. Physically my head feels like it is being crushed in a giant vice while my brain is wrapped in a net of high voltage electric wire. My shoulders are being repeatedly stabbed while my entire body is being beaten. Mentally and emotionally I feel like I have walked through the very gates of hell. The sheer weight of pain, fear, and terror that is attacking my mind and emotions is unbearable. I can even hear the screams coming from hell itself. Then I realize that those screams are mine.

It’s forty-five minutes since my seizure started, and I lost consciousness. My seizures last three to five minutes and my postictal state lasts 30 to 40 minutes, the whole time unconscious yet very mobile. Thankfully, they only come every four to six months because each one breaks me down, tears me apart, and steals part of me away. Each seizure is worse than the last and I wonder how many more I can survive. So I cherish each day with my family, with my friends thanking God for opening my eyes to the importance of appreciating the small things in life.