My 29th Birthday

February 7, 2011

Bright lights surrounded me. Voices. Activity. Hustle.

The fog lifted as I began to regain consciousness and awareness that I was lying on a gurney in an Emergency Room. This time I was not there for my husband...it was for me.

Nurses were undressing me and started to ask questions.

"When is your birthday?"

"Today." I responded groggily. "It's my 29th birthday."

The nurses were surprised and sympathetic that I was spending my birthday evening in the ER.

I looked down at my brightly colored undergarments that were currently exposed and said, "At least I wore a cute bra today." Ha! Trying to see the positive in the moment...

It had been an interesting day and weeks leading up to my unexpected hospital visit.

That morning I had given a training presentation during our weekly sales meeting. We lived in Indianapolis at the time, and I sold new homes for a national builder. In fact, we had just moved into our own new home a few weeks before.

Near the end of our sales meeting, a surprise arrived. Someone brought in a large, beautiful bouquet of purple flowers...and they were for me! An incredible birthday gift from my husband. A few tears rolled down my cheeks at his thoughtfulness.

The beautiful birthday bouquet my husband had delivered to me at work!

The guy sitting next to me said, "Now that's the reaction we hope to get!"

I was genuinely very appreciative, plus I was already super hormonal. Just three weeks before I had endured a painful miscarriage. Even though I was just 10 weeks pregnant when it happened, there was a great deal of pain and blood involved.

The problem was, the bleeding had not stopped. It had lessened, but I was trying to be tough and just let my body heal on its own. But it was not.

After the sales meeting, I went back to my office in a model home that day and waited until my late afternoon OB appt.

Warning: This part gets kind of gross!

Time for my OB visit...Let's see. How do I put this delicately? Oh whatever, let's just be real and put it out there! Maybe this story can help another young mom avoid a similar ordeal.

I had developed a major blood clot as a result of remnants from my pregnancy. For weeks after I lost the baby, I had been bleeding pretty heavy. Once my OB removed the clot, it was like a disgusting dam burst. I laid there for 45 minutes and could not get up because of it. Yep, totally gross.

The somber nurse, ironically named "Sunshine", looked a bit horrified and said she'd never seen that much blood in their office. I began to feel extremely faint.

They called Adrian to come in and said they needed to take me to the hospital next door for surgery. I asked for some extra clothes - the business suite I had on was not working for me anymore!

I fainted right after Adrian arrived. Too much blood loss. I completely passed out on the floor as they were trying to get me ready to go to the hospital. Once I regained consciousness, they attempted to help me stand and walk out. No good. I was out again. (In case you don't know, I have fainted many times over the years when in pain.)

My husband and my OB had to CARRY me out to the car and drive to the hospital right next door, since it was faster than calling the ambulance.

So there I was lying in the Emergency Room on my birthday, getting prepped for D&C surgery. Guess our dinner plans would have to wait...

The procedure was completely painless. Well, they gave me anesthesia, and I was completely unconscious for the whole thing, so that makes sense. But literally, I never had any pain from it that night or the next. It was the simplest surgery, not sure why I was so worried about it before.

We were back home around midnight and still made it out to celebrate my birthday the next night.

But it was a day that would go down in my personal history book as my most memorable birthday! 

That was 5 years ago already, but it's all so clear, I can still smell the scent of a Five Guys cheeseburger on my anesthesiologist in the Operating Room before he made me black out. Ha!

Just two months later, I became pregnant with Johanna - her name means God is gracious.

I may have spent my 29th birthday in the ER with an emergency surgery following, but it was not a ruined birthday. After all, there was that surprise bouquet delivery from my husband! Take the good with the bad.

(And it's definitely easier to share this story 5 years later.)

Best things come in Small packages

"I don't want to do potty time tonight!" Adria said with frustration. Then she started to cry, "Mom, I wish I wasn't a Spina Bifida person."

My heart sank. I can't take this away. I can't make it better for her. I can't promise that she won't always have these nightly, uncomfortable routines. I can't even relate to what her life is every day. I can only try to encourage her through it all.

She stood there weepy-eyed, draped in a towel by the toilet. I gave her a big hug.

"I know it's tough, Sweetie, but I'm so proud of you," I said, "Do you want to talk about it more?"

"Well, I want to go potty on my own like everybody else. And, I wish people wouldn't call me LITTLE!" Adria added. "There's only 2 people in my class shorter than me."

Adria is very short for her age. But she's right, there are two other sweet little girls in her class. So she's not alone and I tried to encourage her that it's ok to be little.

Daddy told her, "The BEST things come in SMALL packages!!"

I loved it. I hope she can hold onto that.

Adria strikes a pose in her "co-worker" style school uniform, new boots and mommy's hat, gloves and glasses. Stylin'

Because after our hug and little chat, we had to do the same uncomfortable potty routine that we do 4-5 nights a week. It's called Peristeen, and it's an advanced enema system with a pump that enables us to flush out her bowels and large intestines. Usually, Daddy and I work together with Adria as that makes it easier on all 3 of us. That part takes just a few minutes, but then Adria has to remain seated on the potty for 30-45 minutes to allow her stool to come out.

It's stinky and unpleasant, but she uses the time to read books or watch cooking videos on the iPad. And when she's done, we catheterize her for the fourth and final time of the day, emptying her bladder before going to bed.

It may be no fun, but this system has dramatically improved things for her - she has now been wearing panties instead of diapers for a year. She still has an accident at school once in a while, but she wears a pad to help with that. It's great that she doesn't have stinkies often in her diaper anymore...that's sooo NOT cool as a 7 year old.

And this little first grader is quite smart. Adria just brought home her report card and got straight A's once again this second quarter! She doesn't even realize what that means, she just enjoys school and expects to get most things right...haha. That may be hereditary ;)

Happy girl posing last week after our only big snowfall of the winter.

Moments of sadness and grumpiness are tough, when she seems keenly aware of her differences, but I am so very encouraged by the incredible young lady she is becoming!

It's true, some of the best things do come in small packages.

At 7 years old, Adria is only an inch taller than her 4 year old sister Johanna (who likes to try on my boots...)

Adria's new pair of AFOs - Ankle Foot Orthotics. She might not like wearing them sometimes, but at least they can be fun and colorful!

Plus, Daddy found these amazing boots that tie and zip up the back. Yeah for cute shoes that fit over leg braces!

To read more about our journey with bowel management programs, here are some links:

Answer to Stinky Situation

Panties are Priceless

Mermaid Magic

Learning to Catheterize a Toddler

A Day at the Children's Hospital

When the School Nurse called