Third Time Around

Expected one month from today...a newborn baby boy! My baby. Our baby. God's child. For the third time, we are anticipating the arrival of a miraculous new life. What a blessing and privilege this is, and we do not take it for granted.

As we look forward to the arrival of what looks to be our first son, I find myself amused as I compare what it's like to be expecting a third child versus number one and number two. I would say the love a mother feels in her heart for the baby she carries does not lessen, but her emotions and planning for the baby certainly do change with each one.

Our first two babies greeting the Easter Bunny during Friday's Kite Festival near the beach.

Reading about Baby

With our first child, Adria, I was so excited about having a baby and all the mystery and newness that surrounded creating life. Even though I had the experience of my sister's stories with the two young children she had, it was an all new endeavor of learning and preparing for my baby. I immersed myself into reading What to Expect When You're Expecting and read that cover to cover, along with a couple other pregnancy books. (If you really know me, you'd know that it generally takes me a loooong time to get through a book, if I finish it at all, so it's impressive that I showed such dedication).

I will admit that it became much harder to read the books about what to expect from our newborn, after five months along when we found out that Adria had spina bifida. Suddenly, they did not seem as helpful or pertinent, yet I continued with an adjusted focus on reading about what to expect with spina bifida. That got overwhelming pretty quickly, and I returned to the generic baby books.

When our second daughter, Johanna, was on the way almost three years later, I wasn't even sure where those baby books were. We had moved twice since Adria's birth, so they were hidden somewhere in the shuffle. I did eventually find a couple, and review a few pages but now that I had a toddler to care for who was just learning to walk, there wasn't nearly as much time for reading.

This third time, those books are long gone. We've moved twice (again) since Johanna. And those books were given to other expectant mothers over the past three years. Now, I just downloaded a pregnancy app on my iPhone to help me keep track of how far along I am...otherwise I'd have no idea. But we are getting, so close it's easy to remember!

Naming Baby

I was not that girl who had baby names picked out for my children by the time I was age 10...or 20. Naming our babies has been tough! Still, we were pretty set on Adria's name a few months before she was born. Her name, of course, is the female form of her Daddy's name, and she shares his initials. She had his heart, right from the start ;)

When it came time to name baby 2 and we knew she was a girl, we decided to do a name similar to Mommy's name and use my initials. Johanna means "Gift from God" and we truly felt that, as she came to us soon after we had experienced a miscarriage.

We love the opportunity to pick out a boy name this third time around, but it has not been easy either. We are 90% sure on his name at this point, but....you'll have to wait until he's born to find that out! As we did with the girls' names, we'll keep this a surprise until he arrives. It's a good way to keep outside opinions to a minimum ;)

Do you like our fun T-shirts? Mine is new, but Adrian has been able to wear "The Impregnator" shirt for all three babies ;)

Boby Stuff

In truth, I feel very fortunate when it comes to pregnancy. Having wide hips and a long torso ends up being a pretty good combination for baby carrying! That said, there are some obvious differences this third time around. My biggest pregnancy issues with the girls were the obnoxious burping and gas along with ditsy pregnancy brain...you know what I mean.

But this little guy...For starters, I weigh more now than I ever did with either of the girls, and I still have a month to go! I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I want to eat all the time. My friends with boys claim it was this way for them too. My belly is definitely protruding more than it did with the girls. And the heartburn has been awful and regular. I so do not remember that. Plus, I got bad winter colds that lasted for weeks on end, leaving my stomach in agony to the point of tears from all the coughing. Sometimes I feared it would never stop. And now a cold is starting to return...I am not happy about this.

But all that said, I feel very good in general and am perfectly content for baby to wait until his due date of May 4 to arrive. I've got lots still to do at home and work to prepare!

Momma's belly is looking pretty large now with a month to go!

Birth Plan

I laugh when I read on-line guides to "creating your birth plan" because in my experience and so many others, nothing goes as planned when it's time to deliver your baby.

Adria was scheduled to be delivered via C-section on Sept. 2 to lessen the risk of damaging her spina bifida sack. However, a test showed that her lungs were not quite ready for delivery so we played a waiting game for a week, and I ultimately delivered her via C-section on Sept. 8 with a doctor I had never met. 

With Johanna, my plan was attempt a more tradition delivery, also know as VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section). Since I had never gone into labor or experienced this with Adria, I worked with a doula  recommended by a friend to provide me with advice and planning. Ultimately, my water broke in Walmart (read more on that incident HERE) and I had to go straight to the hospital and be put on monitors. I had a very supportive OB in Indianapolis, and I was still able to deliver vaginally but it was almost 16 hours later. They had to give me Pitocin to keep my labor progressing, and when they did that I asked for the epidural. I have to admit, I am a fan of the epidural...it has drawbacks but it enabled me to "rest" during those later hours of labor and then focus during the 45 minutes of pushing it took to deliver Jo-Jo.

This third time, I've had to adjust my plans as our local hospital in southern Delaware does not generally perform VBAC deliveries, even though I am a good candidate for another one. Halfway through pregnancy, I changed to a new OB office and plan to deliver at the Dover hospital. It was actually a tough decision (Read more at WHERE SHOULD I DELIVER MY BABY). Honestly, my biggest plan this time is to make sure I pack a bag for the hospital soon, so that Adrian doesn't have to flounder and figure out what I need like last time. Then, I'll hope and pray for a safe and fairly short labor and delivery with a healthy baby at the end.... and I'll probably get that epidural again. Not ashamed.

Post Baby Awareness 

One of the biggest differences this third time is the awareness of what comes AFTER the baby arrives. As much as I'm looking forward to cuddling and snuggling with a little bundle of sweetness, I also know what is coming. I remember all the baby fussiness and lack of sleep, particularly in the first few weeks. Then, there's all the mommy "discharge" and body aches and pains after delivery. A friend recently asked me if was easier to recover from the C-section or vaginal birth. In truth, they were both so different that it's hard to say, but if I had to pick one...I'd say the vaginal birth was a tougher recovery.

Of course, my situation was unique, as I had more time to recover with Adria. For three days after her birth, I laid in a hospital room without her as she was 20 minutes away in a children's hospital recovering from her back closure surgery...It was terrible to be apart from my newborn baby. But it did give me the chance to rest and rebuild strength for the next two weeks we would spend with her in the NICU. 

Our experience with Johanna was much different. She arrived at 4:44 a.m. on a Friday, and we headed home on Saturday night. In theory, that's great. In reality, it was actually somewhat harder to be at home that first week than in the NICU because we did not have the support of all those doctors and nurses 24/7. 

And let's not forget the milk coming in and figuring how to get this baby to latch onto Mommy and drink. I think many young moms are not prepared for the initial challenge of breast-feeding and the pain involved. But my advice is to hang in there if you can and keep trying! It will get better, and if it doesn't work for you and baby, don't feel guilty.

Final Thoughts

There's so much more I could say about the differences this third time around, but at the end of the day, it is true that this baby will get less of my attention than the first. There's no way around it. I have two inquisitive little girls that will continue to demand my time as well. And I know, it's going to get really tough to balance all their needs, but this Baby is what we wanted and prayed for. He is already deeply loved by everyone in our family, and we look forward to meeting him in about a month!

Oh yeah, and we worked on getting the nursery ready today, so I'm feeling more prepared :)

Adria's First Week of Life Outside Mommy's Tummy

Last Sunday we celebrated Adria's fifth birthday, and I shared a blog about my thoughts on the day she was born.

Today, a week later, I'm posting the email that I had sent out to friends and family from the NICU at A.I. DuPont Hospital the week after her birth. Some of you might remember reading this five years ago!

I found that the easiest way for me to tell her story, would be to write it from her perspective. Through the innocent eyes and voice of a newborn. Who knows what she was actually thinking, but I decided it was something like this...

Day old Baby Adria before her back surgery on Sept. 9, 2008

Baby girl after her spina bifida closure surgery.

 

Adria Mychelle Seely… My First Week of Life Outside Mommy’s Tummy

(as told through my mommy Julleanna Seely, since I’m not much of a writer yet J)

On Monday I celebrated my one week birthday! For the first time I was able to lie on my back that day and be held by my parents without having a hundred wires plugged in…ok, it was actually only 4 or 5 wires but still they cramp my style.  

My arrival into the world came with a bit of fanfare, having over a dozen doctors and nurses in the delivery room – half for mommy and half for me. I was delivered at Christiana Hospital on Sept. 8 at 3:58 p.m., a beautiful, healthy baby girl weighing 6 lbs. 15 oz. and measuring 19 inches long. So many doctors were there because I was born with spina bifida, a birth defect that occurs when a baby’s spine fails to close during the early months of pregnancy.*

A few hours later, I was transferred to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit)  at A.I. duPont Children’s Hospital in Wilmington. On Tuesday afternoon a pediatric neurosurgeon performed surgery to remove the spina bifida sac on my lower back and put my spinal cord back in place. Thankfully, the location on my back is relatively low which means that I have a good chance of being able to walk. In order for my back to heal, I had to lie on my stomach or side for the first week, but now I’m healing so well that I can be held or lie on my back!

Daddy has been here with me every day, but I did not get to see Mommy again until Thursday morning; she had to stay at the other hospital to recover from her c-section. When I saw her for the first time since my birth, she reached into my little incubator hospital bed, and I wrapped my tiny hand around her finger. She cried a lot when I did that.

So far, doctors seem impressed with my recovery and the amount of movement in my legs. I really like to kick and squirm a lot, which makes Mommy and Daddy very happy. The doctors think the only place I don’t have much sensation is the bottom of my feet, and one nurse said I have more movement than any other baby with spina bifida that she’s seen in her seven years working in the NICU. Mommy says that I’m doing so well because so many people from all over are praying for me.      

While at the hospital, my parents help the nurses give me baths, change my diapers, and feed me. They love to sit and watch me, hold me and kiss me ‘cause I am crazy adorable with my full head of dark brown hair and little tiny baby features that are so perfect. They really hope to take me home soon, and I can’t wait to see my bedroom and try on all my pretty outfits. The main thing we are waiting on is an MRI that I am scheduled to have on Thursday to look at the fluid around my brain. A majority of babies with spina bifida have hydrocephalus and need additional surgery to remove the fluid. I am really hoping that the results from the MRI are good, and I will not need that surgery.

So, thank you so much for praying for me and I hope that you will continue to do so. I will need to have many more tests and physical therapy over the next months and years of my life and there are many unknowns about some of the physical challenges I will face, but I am a very active little girl with a good appetite and a strong cry so I think I will continue to do well.

With much love and a few hiccups, cries and coos,

Adria Mychelle Seely

*Spina Bifida:  Also known as Myelomeningocele, occurs in about 7 out of every 10,000 births. There is no known cause but because it effects the development of the spinal cord, there are a variety of challenges that can arise. This includes various levels of paralysis, mainly in the legs; bowel and bladder problems; hydrocephalus which is excess fluid around the brain; and sometimes learning challenges. Most children with spina bifida have nerve damage that affects their ability to walk, and often require the use of leg braces or a wheelchair. No two cases of Spina Bifida are ever the same.

Daddy gets to feed baby Adria

 

 Mommy sees her baby for the first time after 4 days apart

She was scheduled to be born today, Sept. 2

The clock has not yet hit 4:00 a.m. as I write on this Labor Day. While I was lying awake in bed and trying to get back to sleep, I realized that five years ago today I was having trouble sleeping that morning too.

My husband and I were staying in a hotel in Newark, Del. anticipating that we would meet our precious little girl for the first time that Sept. 2 day.

We had been on a pretty wild ride that summer since first learning of Adria's spina bifida diagnosis when I was five months pregnant. Pictures show that it was a fun summer of celebrating my little brother's high school graduation, decorating the nursery, enjoying family cook-outs at my aunt's pool, and sailing on the Chesapeake Bay for the first time.

Celebrating with my siblings in summer 2008 just after my youngest brother's high school graduation, which was just a few weeks after learning about Adria's spina bifida.

Sailboat ride on the Chesapeake with Ade, two days before my scheduled C-section on Sept. 2. Yes, the people on the boat were a little nervous once I told them how soon I was due!

It was also a summer packed full of doctors visits and regular sonograms checking our baby's progress. A summer of educating ourselves on what to expect in this next phase of life. I had to look further than the What to Expect When You're Expecting and The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy books I had been reading to learn what I could about how to care for a baby with myelomeningocele spina bifida. I tried to prepare myself for what her life could be, but the unknowns were so vast.

Most of our education was gained from meeting with multiple doctors in various specialties - from high risk OB/GYNs to pediatric Neurosurgeons, Urologists, Physical Therapists, Orthopedics and more.

We transferred my care from the Annapolis maternal fetal medicine specialist to Delaware Center for Maternal and Fetal Medicine, part of Christiana Care at the Newark campus. We made this change largely for insurance reasons, because it was better to stay in state, but also because of the center's great reputation and close proximity to A.I. DuPont Children's Hospital in Wilmington, Del.

It was during this time when we learned that only six babies had been born in Delaware with spina bifida the previous year and fewer than that so far in 2008.

My doctor at DCMFM was Philip Shlossman, M.D., who we both liked because of his laid-back and often humorous bedside manner. He was critical in helping us navigate many major decisions we faced.

One major recommendation he made was that our baby girl be delivered with a scheduled C-section. Not because of any complications I was having, but this would be best to reduce and prevent further damage to the spina bifida sac and spinal cord that protruded from her lower back. The C-section would be scheduled several weeks before my actual Sept. 22 due date in order to avoid me going into labor and to ensure all the doctors needed for this special delivery would be available.

This would be a specialized team both at Christiana Hospital and A.I. DuPont Children's Hospital. The plan was for Adria to be delivered at Christiana and shortly thereafter be transferred 20 minutes up the road to the Children's hospital for her spina bifida closure surgery.

We were nervous that Sept. 2 morning but also very excited to meet our firstborn.

However, because my due date was still several weeks away, Dr. Shlossman performed an amniocentesis on me at 7:00 a.m. to test if our baby's lung were fully mature for the early delivery. They stuck a freaky big needle in my belly to get a sample of the amniotic fluid, and then we waited for what seemed an eternity but was really a couple hours for the test results.

Results came in, and baby's lungs were not quite ready... We would go home and they'd let us know when to reschedule.

Honestly, we were very disappointed. Our anticipation of meeting her was so high, and we had been planning on this date for months. I know most mom's don't get to "plan" their delivery, but still I was ready to meet her!

That night, I wrote this in my journal:

"It may seem odd to say this, but I was really hoping to be lying in a hospital bed tonight. My little baby girl was scheduled to be delivered today via C-section. Ade and I had prepared ourselves, got the house ready, and packed our bags for the next week or more expecting to be up in Wilmington while she recovered from her Spina Bifida closure surgery... Though we know that's best for her to wait, the news was hard to take after preparing ourselves for her arrival today. I  love feeling her inside me, but I am very much ready to see and hold her."

That's okay though, God already had her birthday planned and it was not for that day.

My mom took this photo the morning of Sept. 2, 2008 before we went in the hospital. I thought it would be my last pregnant photo with Adria, but I ended up having another week to get a few more.