Two years ago we lost our Dad to Covid. It still hurts.

 

The Call that made me Scream

The snow fell heavy, in almost blizzard-like conditions that Monday morning, January 3, 2022. For southern Delaware that meant schools were closed for this rare occurrence. Soon after I got the school closing phone call, I got one of the most sickening calls of my life. It was the local hospital where my Dad had been for almost two weeks, most of that time on a ventilator.

Dad’s ICU nurse called to say he had a bad morning and his organs were shutting down. Covid pneumonia had weakened and battered his body for weeks. His oxygen and blood pressure had suddenly dropped despite being on 100% vent support and multiple meds. He might not survive the day. Our family should come to the hospital soon to say goodbye.

I wanted to throw up. I screamed. My fists pounded the bed as I yelled God. I pleaded with Him not to take my Dad. My tearful pleas - why are you doing this? Why are you taking him from us?

Though I knew the outlook was not good after him being sedated on the ventilator for almost 2 weeks, our family prayed and believed for a miracle. After all, he had miraculously recovered from a massive heart attack almost four years earlier and had been doing well.

It was a slow drive through the country roads thickly covered in snow to go pick up my Mom. She was praying with faith, still believing for a miracle. My husband drove his F-150 through the treacherous conditions, which made the typical 20 minute drive to the hospital take what felt like an eternity. Honestly, I was trying not to pass out. The feelings of fear and grief gripped my body, making me light-headed.

Blessed by a Wonderful Father

My Dad, Byron Outten, was the kind of Dad every girl would hope for. He loved the Lord and his family. He was my encourager, support through life’s hardships and biggest cheerleader in my successes. He told me often he was proud of me and that I was beautiful. I knew death would not be the end for him. He raised us in a Christian home, where he was faithful in his morning devotion time. Even now, there are still his hand-written Bible verses on sticky notes surrounding his desk at home. He taught us that if we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we would spend eternity in Heaven.

So much of his life was a reflection of Christ’s love. He had a servant heart and generous spirit that was well known in our community. Dad often paid for someone’s meal or coffee, randomly brought people cookies and treats, and helped many in times of financial distress – no matter how tight his finances. He owned a plumbing business for many years, and I’ve lost track of how many times people told me that he fixed their urgent plumbing need for little or no payment. The world was a better place with my Dad in it.

At the Hospital

The hospital was full of patients, but the main lobby was empty. No visitors due to Covid. Unless your loved one was at the end.

The three of us were solemnly led through the quiet halls up to the ICU.

I had seen my Dad on the ventilator through the hospital’s video facetime many times before that day. I would call the hospital and the nurse, fully garbed up and looking like someone from the movie “Outbreak”, would prop up the tablet on the tray facing my Dad. I could see the tubes in his mouth and hear the air being forced into his lungs through the machine. Rough to see but I wanted to talk to my Dad. I told him about life and the events surrounding the holidays. I would post updates on social media and read him the hundreds of comments from family and friends who were sending love and prayers.  On Christmas Day my Mom, brothers and I called and sang him a few Christmas carols. On New Years Day, my sister and I called him, trying to be hopeful and happy in the new year.

Dad never opened his eyes or responded much in a way we could tell, but the nurse told me his heart rhythms on the monitor would change when we called.

But as we walked into the hospital that day, Dad looked worse than I expected. His religiously clean-shaven face was scruffy, his silky white hair was matted, his skin color too yellow, and his cheeks worn from the adhesives for the ventilator.

The staff was gracious and allowed us to spend hours with him that day, as the snow continued to fall all morning and later subsided. My Mom loved on her husband of 43 years. She prayed scriptures over him and played his favorite worship songs and displayed faith I’d rarely seen. Even in his frailty, she kept praying for a miracle.

More family arrived at the hospital - my two brothers, one’s girlfriend and my Dad’s beloved only sister and her husband. My three young children were not allowed in to see their Grandpa, and they are still upset they did not get to say goodbye in person.   

Dad survived that day. We think it’s so that my out-of-state older sister could have time to come down and be there.

The Day we lost Dad

We returned to the hospital all together the next day, emotionally exhausted. The eight of us surrounded his bed when Dad took his last breath on January 4, 2022. It was exactly one month from the last time I had been able to give him a hug before he became ill with Covid-19.

That same day we saw two other families in the ICU saying goodbye to their loved ones.

We know that we were among the fortunate ones to be by Dad’s side at the end of this life. For countless many, Covid restrictions did not allow that and the nurses and doctors were left with the heavy role of being there in the final moments of life. It really is a truly awful illness.

So much Grief and Loss

Many times since our schools and businesses shut down in March of 2020, we wanted to believe the pandemic was not as bad as they said. That it only impacted people with pre-existing conditions.

Yes, my Dad had troubled lungs and a weak heart prior to getting Covid. But those pre-existing conditions did not make the immense loss any easier.

And this story is not about vaccination status. Please don’t make it so. It’s a story about a relatable loss and grief that millions around the globe experienced over the past few of years. And according to an ICU nurse I spoke with, one of the most common feelings that accompanies grief is Guilt from families who lost loved ones to Covid. We wonder and question if more could be done to save our loved ones.

For our community, early 2022 seemed to be about the hardest hit time. That January four people from my Dad’s church passed away – reportedly two were vaccinated and two were not. Within the weeks following, I watched three other families with women my age suffer through watching a very similar downward spiral in their fathers’ health and untimely death to Covid. Then I heard of several more – so many men in their sixties were dying. It was alarming.

The local funeral home director was so empathetic and compassionate toward us, even during the busiest time he had experienced in his career. It was unlike anything before. So many grieving families.

My Dad’s funeral lasted three hours. It may seem long but there was much to share about his life well lived, and many of those in attendance or who watched online said it was one of the best services they’d ever seen.

A month later, I celebrated my 40^th birthday without my Dad. Then Father’s Day came and I didn’t have my Dad to take out to lunch. My Mom barely endured what would have been their 44^th wedding anniversary in July without her husband. In November ‘22, we remembered Dad and gathered for dinner on what would have been his 65^th Birthday. I even made his favorite blueberry cheesecake. And my mom’s 65^th birthday fell on Thanksgiving Day. Two very difficult firsts without her husband. We miss him greatly. Every. Single. Day.

We lost our Dad to Covid. And so many days, we are not Okay. The grief and loss is real. And it’s because we loved so much and were so well loved. We are just one of millions forever impacted by this terrible virus.

Two years later we have not moved on. That’s not how grief works.  We still love and remember him, yet try not to get too lost in the memories. We adjust our expectations, especially for family dinners and birthday parties where his absence is keenly felt. We cry in private and stay active and busy in public.

On Christmas day, I woke with a heavy heart of sadness knowing that he would not be with us. I covered it and put on a joyous smile to be with my children as they embraced the excitement of Christmas morning. I am so very thankful for the years I had with my Dad, and I’m jealous of those who get more. Each day is a gift. 

Sending out my love, hugs and empathy for all those who understand this.

Miss you and Love you always, Dad.

  

Remembering School Principal Dr. Laura Leach

It has been a year since our local school community was rocked by the loss of a beloved wife, mother, friend and amazing elementary school principal. She was Adria's 5th grade principal, and my daughter cried in my arms for an hour when I told her Dr. Laura Leach had died. 

Today, the Woodbridge School District remembers her by inviting all staff and students to wear Purple, her favorite color. And they will unveil a memorial at Phillis Wheatley Elementary School in her honor. 

In May 2020, I wrote this article that was published in our local newspaper, The Seaford Star, about her life.

Woodbridge mourns sudden passing of PWES Principal

By Julleanna Seely

The Woodbridge School District community mourns the sudden passing of Phillis Wheatley Elementary School Principal Dr. Laura Michele Leach on April 29.  Leach is remembered by her friends and fellow educators for her care, empathy and sense of humor.

Dr. Leach pictured with her husband and daughter

“She made every student and every staff member feel important to her. She took time to get to know us and showed us all how much she believed in us, inspiring us all to want to achieve the greatness she saw in us. She was truly an incredible leader,” said Stephanie Vodvarka, fourth grade teacher at PWES.

At just 39 years old, Leach experienced a pulmonary embolism when a blood clot traveled to her lungs. Leach was married to John Franklin Leach for 16 years and mother to her young daughter, Keely Leach.

“I don’t know that I’ve worked with an administrator that had so much empathy for kids and families... She saw in a lot of our families what she grew up with,” Woodbridge Superintendent Heath Chasanov said.

Chasanov remarked that the community is feeling numb in the wake of many recent losses.

Last fall, Woodbridge High School quarterback Troy Haynes passed away after battling kidney cancer. Since then, the Woodbridge community has lost former long-time staff members – Beth Judy, Diane Jones, and Sara Greene. Just a month ago, the vice president of the school board, Walter P.J. Gilefski, passed away after decades of service in the district and many years on the board.

“I feel like we’ve been grieving all year,” Heath added. “With Laura, it was just shocking.”

Leach became the principal of PWES in the fall of 2019 after serving as vice principal of the school for a few years. The school serves 3^rd to 5^th grade students in the Greenwood and Bridgeville area.

Zachary Huber has worked with Leach since 2013, and became PWES vice principal in the 2019-2020 school year when Leach took on the role of principal.

When asked how he and the school staff are responding to this loss, Huber said, “Heartbroken and devastated to say the least. This has all been surreal. She will always be remembered by our staff and community as a compassionate leader who always put an emphasis on putting teachers and students first. Our staff and community is more united than ever as we mourn her loss.”

Leach was born in Wilmington and earned degrees from Delaware Technical & Community College and Wesley College, before completing her Doctorate in Education from the University of Delaware.

Huber added, “Not only was Dr. Leach a fearless leader but also a phenomenal mother and wife. While working side by side with her, I was fortunate enough to witness her compassionate interactions with students but most importantly, I saw the unbreakable bond she had with her daughter Keely.  My thoughts and prayers are with her husband John, and daughter Keely as well as the rest of her family as they are facing this loss.”

Parents and students from PWES share the impact of her life.

“I will remember her for her support with my child’s education. She would do whatever she could to ensure all students were treated equal and their needs would be met,” said Katie Birmingham, mother of a PWES fifth grade student.

“Also, I remember her sweet smile and her humor.  Dr. Leach always had a smile on her face no matter what was going on. She will be greatly missed.” Birmingham added that her son Alex said that he will miss the jokes that she told during Monday announcements.

Leach was known for sharing these jokes and even as the coronavirus pandemic resulted in Delaware school buildings closing for the year, she shared jokes with her students on Class Dojo, an online community connecting students, parents and teachers.

Huber fondly recalls a Leach’s fun-loving side, “She made me paint my face green as the Grinch for the holidays and go to each classroom to visit students because that was what she often called me during the holiday season.”

Katie Sears is the school counselor at PWES and worked with Leach for nine years. This year she earned the honor of Delaware’s Elementary School Counselor of the Year after Leach nominated her and encouraged other staff to as well.

“I will miss the close relationship that we had as well as what an amazing leader she was at our school” Sears said. “She cared about our staff and students immensely and it showed in everything she did at PWES.”

Stephanie Vodvarka has taught with Woodbridge in the Phillis Wheatley building for 16 years. The last few years with Leach as an administrator.

Vodvarka shared about how Leach took great pride in the school, staff, and students. “She wanted it to be a welcoming place, and would get so excited when a visitor would come in and comment on the positive and inviting atmosphere in the building. She understood the importance of connection and the direct link between meeting social and emotional needs and academic success,” Vodvarka said.

“She wasn’t afraid to stand up for something she believed in, which wasn’t always easy. The difficult conversations, when she could get a little feisty just go to prove how much she really cared.” Vodvarka added.

With the support of Leach, Vodvarka earned the title of 2020 District Teach of the Year. Leach wrote a lengthy letter of recommendation for Vodvarka to be considered for National Teacher of the Year. Her writing in this letter gives evidence of Leach’s care and support of her staff and students.

Leach wrote the following in the letter last September:

“She [Vodvarka] is one of the most determined, caring, gritty, rigorous, innovative and reflective teachers, and person, I know… She sparked my interest right away because she had many of my previous students in her class who I had the privilege of teaching when I was a third grade teacher. I knew many of them needed extra attention, extra love. Some needed extra food, clean clothing. A couple even needed to shower at school because they didn’t have running water at home… I watched as Stephanie built the most amazing classroom environment I have ever seen in my entire life. See, I grew up very poor myself. School was never, ever a welcoming place for me… I succeeded in life in spite of many teachers, not because of them. I watched in complete and utter awe as Stephanie cared for her students…”

Courtney Diamond has taught fourth grade for all 15 years at Woodbridge. She explains what she experienced while working under Leach, “Dr. Laura Leach was an advocate for children…It really didn't matter the challenges that they may encounter as low income, underprivileged, or coming from broken families.  She was proof, and she let it be known that no matter the situation they can rise above it and achieve greatness!  She had this innate ability to bond with students...even the tough ones!  She made us feel as though we were one big family.”  

Diamond also appreciated Leach’s humor and said she will miss that the most.

“Her untimely death has left a gaping hole in our community.  We are absolutely heartbroken.  However, I will be forever grateful and feel honored that she was not only my friend but our trailblazing principal that reached countless students and that was her life goal.... to PROVE THEM WRONG!” Diamond said.

Vodvarka summarized the feelings many share for Principal Leach, “There is a John Quincy Adams quote that says ‘If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.’ Well, she most certainly was, and darn good one, too.”

 

 

 

 

 

Our 2018 Highlight Reel

No Christmas cards were mailed out from the Seely home this year. I usually send out over 100 cards with our smiling faces on them, but it just didn’t happen. And truthfully, I have no regrets. But sorry if you missed getting one.

Our Family at the Spina Bifida Assoc. Christmas Party

Instead, I’ll spend a few minutes spewing out some thoughts about our year, if you care to know how 2018 panned out in this house.

We started off the year with the girls trying something new and both taking a gymnastics class, which they really enjoyed. This fall Johanna went back to gymnastics, but Adria really wanted to take a martial arts class so she’s trying that out…and looks totally adorable in her white uniform.

Adria turned 10 in September! And just like that, we are officially parents to a child in the double digits. She continues to amaze us with her hard work, determination and spirit. She is a straight A student in her 4^th grade class, and this year was accepted into the Gifted and Talented Program at her school. And let me tell you, they have some seriously challenging assignments in that class, but it’s given her the opportunity to stretch herself and I see a budding writer in her. #proudmama

Adria in her martial arts outfit

Just a couple weeks ago, we had the opportunity to become part of the Spina Bifida Association of the Eastern Shore (Maryland) and participate in their annual Christmas party. What a wonderful experience for Adria to meet so many others, including several girls her age, who were also born with Spina Bifida. They enjoyed crafts, food and gifts from Santa while the parents feasted on a delicious meal. Adria keeps asking when we can get together with them again J

Johanna recently celebrated her 7^th birthday with a few of her “Besties”. Our spunky, fun and sensitive little girl makes friends wherever she goes with her bubbly personality. We’ve enjoyed watching her grow and learn to read in first grade, where she also earned straight A’s the first marking period. So thankful for wonderful teachers at the local public school! The girls are both riding the bus to and from school for the first time this year, so that’s been helpful in getting them to school on time (cough) and mommy getting to work early more often.

Judah is ready for Christmas!

Judah is growing fast and this 3 year old spends much of his time playing with trains, trucks, dirt, water, and balls. Total boy and Daddy loves it. They continue to have a special bond, spending their days together while the girls are away. Judah does go to preschool in Milford two days a week in a class with six boys and a girl. He loves his big sisters, especially messing with them while they're playing or coloring.

Adrian celebrated a milestone birthday, turning 40 in November. His birthday wish was to have all his siblings in town together, and it came true! They came from British Columbia, Texas, Ohio and locally so the 7 of them ate dinner together at his parent’s table for the first time in 11 years. So special!

In November, Adrian turned 40 and we
celebrated 15 years of marriage.

Another big milestone came on Thanksgiving Day, which was also our 15^th Wedding Anniversary. We actually celebrated it in October when we took a week-long trip to Maui, Hawaii (without the Kids)! It was a long flight, but a beautiful place where we experienced many exciting things. My first helicopter ride over the island of Molokai literally took my breath away, and a couple’s zip-lining adventure had us laughing through the air in the rain and posing with rainbows. With this trip, Adrian has now officially been to all 50 of the United States of America!!!

I completed my third full marathon while in Maui. And those were the most difficult 26.2 miles I’ve run/walked yet… Though I had trained for months, I was not prepared for the trifecta of Heat, Hills, and Humidity along the lovely Pacific coast. It took me an hour longer to complete than my other 2 marathons, but I crossed that finish line on my own two feet and came in 250 out of 552 runners! I continue to run 5K races and just posted my best time ever of 26:15.

Getting ready to run in Maui

It’s been an interesting year for me in new home sales with lots of activity some months and very little others, but it looks like I’ll finish 2018 with a strong December. I recently sold my largest home in 11 years of doing this and am excited to see it built with great views of a Delaware bay!

One other major event happened earlier this year; on February 20 my amazing Dad went into cardiac arrest and we briefly lost him. It was a frightening time, but our community came together in prayer and support and Dad miraculously recovered. We are thankful beyond words.  Then in July, Dad and Mom were able to celebrate their 40^th Anniversary.

It was another year full of life, love, struggle, laughter and tears. And we are thankful for it. And for YOU sharing with us in it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A beautiful sunset on the Pacific that we experienced in Maui

Helicopter ride over Molokai island

The Day my Dad's Heart Stopped

People say it. Don’t take loved ones for granted, you never know when it’ll be the last time you see them.

My Mom and Dad looing good on Friday, March 2,

two days after he came home from hospital.

It was two weeks ago Monday night when I called my Dad, after taking the girls to their gymnastic's class. He told me about their busy weekend visiting my sister and family in Vermont – a funeral, a basketball game, a birthday party and more. He sounded happy but tired. They had just gotten home around 6:00 that night.

I asked him what they were doing the upcoming Friday night. Would they feel up for hosting a sleepover with all 6 of their grandkids??? My sister was planning to come down for a few days of the kid’s winter break. He chuckled and asked Mom. Dad said, “Judah too? Yeah, yeah we could try that and see how it goes.” He treasures his grandchildren, who are ages 2-11 with tons of energy and personality.

That conversation would replay in my head for the next few days, as I wondered if it would be the last time I ever talked to my Dad.

Early the next morning on February 20, my Dad’s heart stopped beating.

I had just returned from a 5 mile run and was getting ready for work, when I got the news. My husband walked in with an awful look on his face. “Cam called, your Dad went into cardiac arrest!”

“NOOOOOOOOOO! GOD NO,” I yelled.

Many of you have experienced a moment like this. When you get that awful news that makes it hard to even function. To breathe. Yet you must.

As I ran out the door, my daughters were worried about what was happening. I just said, “Grandpa is sick and needs mommy’s help.” I was so afraid they might not see him again… I drove to my parent’s house, praying and trying not to freak, trying to drive safe, calling my sister.

In the distance I saw their home. Emergency vehicles crowded the driveway. I drove up on the lawn and ran inside. Police officers, EMTs and other responders were everywhere inside.

“Where’s my Dad? How’s my Dad?” They looked at me. I could see in their eyes, it was not good.

Mom stood helpless in the foyer. “He had a heart attack,” she said with numbness and fear. They asked us to step back, “You shouldn’t see him like this,” an officer said as the emergency personnel struggled to carry my Dad down the steep flight of stairs.

Mom, my brother Cameron, and I huddled in a circle and cried as they loaded Dad into the ambulance. The neighbor and first responder, Philip Schrock, told us he had a heart rhythm and was breathing but it was weak. And they were off.

As I waited for Mom and Cam to get dressed, I called Dad’s only sister, my dear Aunt Bon. She shrieked and immediately left work. I called my youngest brother Aaron. Then I quickly shared a public plea on Facebook, “Pray for my Daddy!!! Just had a heart attack.” And you did. Hundreds of you responded.

At the Nanticoke hospital ER, they sent Mom, Cameron and I to a private waiting room. Our numbers gradually increased as family, pastors and a few friends arrived. We waited and sobbed. We prayed.

Dr. Ferber came to the door. It’s hard to recall exactly what he said, but basically that Byron had gone into cardiac arrest and his heart went into a type of arrhythmia that is often the final beats of the heart before death. They had to shock his body twice with a defibrillator to get his heart beating again before leaving the house. His heart stopped again in the ambulance, so they shocked him a third time on the way to the hospital.

The doctor said that it was largely the quick response calling 911 and beginning chest compressions that made the difference of Dad still having a heart beat.

My Dad, sedated in the ICU the day

of his cardiac arrest

You see, mom had awaken around 7:30 a.m. to a blanket being tossed over her. She then saw Dad’s eyes were rolled back and he wasn’t breathing right. Immediately, she yelled for my brother Cameron to call 911. As he was on the phone, they instructed him to take Dad off the bed and begin chest compressions. Within minutes, the neighbor Philip was there responding to the call and took over giving CPR. They saved Dad’s Life.
Around 9 a.m. at the hospital, Dad was sedated and his heart was beating but less than half the strength it should. They would take him to ICU and begin hypothermic treatment that would cool his body to 91 degrees, decreasing the oxygen needed for the body to recover and reducing the risk of brain damage. At this point, they could not tell if he’d had a stroke or if there would be brain injury. Noone knew what to expect, but this was the best they could do for him…

We stayed at the hospital all day. People came to comfort and support. We totally took over the ICU waiting area. Would our Dad make it? How long would it take for him to come back to us? Would he be able to talk, to walk? So many unknowns.

And then it happened. To our amazement and absolute delight, just two days later on the morning of February 22, 2018 Dad opened his eyes. Talk about a moment of sheer joy and hope!!!  

Mom and my sister Lilli cry tears of joy as they see Dad's eyes opened on Feb. 22.

I was at the hospital with my Mom, husband and all 3 siblings. What tears of relief were shed!

The other day, my Mom and Dad told me that it was on February 22, 1974…exactly 44 years before the day of his awakening…when my Father became a Christian, asking Jesus to be his Lord and Savior. Amazing. Mom calls it MIRACLE DAY!

My husband was a faithful supporter to mom and dad during his hospital stay.

Adrian would stay there for hours some days while I had to go to work.

The following Tuesday, my Dad improved enough to have an operation for a Biventricular ICD a.k.a. a pacemaker on his heart. And the next day, Dad came Home!

My Dad weeps as he hugs my three little ones,

his grandchildren, on the day of his homecoming.

During the 9 days that he was in the hospital, I provided daily updates of his progress on Facebook, he had dozens of visitors, friends brought food and cleaned my parent’s home, and hundreds…maybe thousands…of prayers were lifted on his behalf. An entire community network was lifting us all up.
Especially the Sunday after his cardiac arrest, when my older sister experienced a serious fainting incident at church, likely stress induced, that resulted in paramedics arriving on the scene and her being transported to the same hospital where Dad was recovering. They treated her for a few hours in the ER, then she came to stay at my house for the night.

So it’s official, my Dad and sister Lillian have joined the “Fall Down. Up Again” team!!

What exactly caused my Dad’s cardiac arrest is unknown, but they suspect that his heart had been weakening for years. My Dad has been a plumber for 36 years, crawling in damp spaces under homes and breathing in potent glues. He has struggled with coughing fits and bouts of bronchitis over the years that likely put extra strain on his heart. The doctors say the prognosis looks good with his pacemaker now.

He is one of the fortunate ones, they said. Almost 95% of people who experience the severity of cardiac arrest that my Dad endured, do not get a second chance. And when they do, it’s rare to come through it with relatively little permanent damage.

He has diet and lifestyle changes to embrace, along with rehab and physical therapy. His biggest challenge since being home is the pain in his chest from a cracked rib, which is the result of the CPR and fairly common. He is emotional and overwhelmed with gratitude for the support and still appreciates your prayers.

My Dad, Byron Outten, is the best father a girl could hope for, he has an incredibly generous spirit and is known for being there to support people in their final hours. He is great man of God, and we are so Thankful that he is still here to spread more love.

Now that he’s healing, I can tease him, “Was the idea of having all six of your grandchildren spend the night that overwhelming??? You didn’t have to go and have a heart attack!”

With my Dad on Tuesday, February 27, the day he got his

pacemaker and a week after his cardiac arrest

My mom, Lorna Outten, read this verse the day after Dad’s cardia arrest when he was still sedated….

Psalm 41:1-3

“Oh, the joys of those who are kind to the poor! The Lord rescues them when they are in trouble. The Lord protects them and keeps them alive. He gives them prosperity in the land and rescues them from their enemies. The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health.”

Merry Christmas 2017

Christmas Eve.

It's a quiet evening at home with my family. Just the five of us. Munching on snacks, watching movies, and maybe a little dancing around the Christmas tree later.

When I was a little girl I used to love dancing to carols in the soft light of the tree, so my kids are learning to enjoy this simple thrill. Daddy had to put soft pads on the coffee table feet because we keep moving it out of the way, and though our laminate floor is fairly scratch resistant, we should at least try to be careful...

It's our first Christmas in our new Home.

Family Christmas Photo courtesy JCP Portrait Studio.

It was not a great experience but the pictures turned out nice.

And to all those who had to ask for our new address for Christmas cards...again...I'm really hoping you won't have to ask that question for many, many years. Maybe ever???

That was our big news for 2017. Building our new home on the Seely family farm where Adrian grew up. Of course, we had Bay to Beach Builders construct the home and we love it! We got the keys on St. Patrick's Day, March 17, and have been working on getting settled in ever since.

About a month later, we celebrated Judah's 2nd birthday on our backyard deck. He's grown so much since then that people rarely believe me when I say he's only two. He is still passionate about tractors, monster trucks, fire engines, and pretty much anything on wheels. Daddy has trained him well to have good manners, often saying Please, Thank you and "Are you OK?"  Judah's sisters love him dearly, as long as he's not messing with their toys or games (which is fairly often...)

Big sister Johanna just turned 6 in early December. She is as energetic and vibrant as ever, making friends everywhere she goes. Kindergarten is going well and it's great watching her learn to read and write. Sometimes all that energy makes it hard for her to sit still in class, especially when talking with her two buddies. Her sweet smile took on a new look when she lost both her front teeth the same week at the beginning of the school year.

Biggest sister Adria is now a 9 year old third grader! She just had a very busy month as she participated in the local High School theatrical production of Miracle on 34th Street, which she absolutely loved. She continues to excel in school, earning straight A's and Student of the Month honors. The teachers and school staff continue to amaze me with how they care for her and her unique needs, even buying her a special scooter to help with her long walk to the playground.

Mommy's big accomplishment for the year was training for and running a full marathon - 26.2 miles on October 21, starting at the Dover Downs Speedway. It was very difficult but motivating, so I ran a half marathon on Johanna's birthday, Dec. 2, and finished the 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 10 minutes. Otherwise, I stay busy selling new homes full time and raising these three kiddos.

Johanna - 6, Adria - 9, Judah - 2

Daddy's year has been very active with moving into the new home and spending countless hours on landscaping and trying to make a once heavily wooded property, a beautiful lawn. When Adrian is not busy cleaning house and caring for the little ones, he gets out disc golfing and has recently become more interested in hunting, both shot gun and bow.

We give thanks to God for His blessings this year. May you have a blessed Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

With Love,
The Seelys

Christmas Eve in our Living Room

 

Building our Home Together

It was a cold January day in 2016 when my husband and I walked through the dense woods across the street from his childhood home.

Adrian knows these woods well. They have been owned by the Seely family for generations. He spent his youth exploring, hunting, fishing and swimming in these woods and streams with his brothers and sisters.

He brought me to an area dense with briers.

"This would be a great spot for a home," Adrian said. His parent's 100+ year old farmhouse was barely visible across the field through the thick vegetation. He pointed out how the ground was high, and there were some great trees to keep and many to be removed. He pictured where the driveway would come in off the road and how far back the home should sit. He saw it all.

He had the vision.

That was the start of it. Just over a year ago, we began to pursue this new idea of building another home on the Seely farm. It almost seems surreal that here we are now, just weeks away from moving into this beautiful, new home.

And it has taken shape just as Adrian envisioned.

Our new home covered in its first snow in January 2017 - one year after we walked the property to decide where to build.

Yes, we have built before - 2 other new homes in fact. Yes, we have moved many times.

But this home. THIS HOME IS DIFFERENT.

This is the home we are building for our precious family of 5. More than that, we are building it WITH our children. We are building it TOGETHER. We are planning to raise our children in the same woods where their Daddy enjoyed countless adventures and created many memories.

Adrian designed the home, with some input from me and Monty, an expert home designer where I work. I selected most of the finishes, with Adrian's support and feedback.  And Bay to Beach Builders, where I sell new homes, is doing the hard work of managing construction. (Praise the Lord!)

Now let me tell you WHY we are building.

Looking back a year to the first week of 2016, we were extremely discouraged. It was anything but a "happy new year" when we were hit with some difficult financial news and serious health issues. It reminded me of another time when we felt life was throwing us some tough punches - Click to read "Like Blows in a Boxing Match."

One Sunday morning during this time I was at church with our 3 children. As the congregation sang together in praise and worship, I felt a touch from the Lord.

It was a passionate urging to BELIEVE that even though we were distraught and even though another year started with a bad incident like we had seen before...it would not be a bad year. No, God had the power to make it great.

My heart pounded as I walked to the front of the church with nine-month-old Judah on my hip. I shared what was on my heart with a couple in leadership, and they prayed with me. It wasn't anything super emotional or hyped up. But I took that step forward in faith, and I believe God heard that cry for help and the passionate desire for a positive change!!

In early 2016, as we were seeking God's direction, Adrian had several scriptures speak to his heart.
Months later, we wrote several of them on the framed walls of our new home. Truths to hold onto, forever built into our home.

Within weeks, we found ourselves walking through those woods and talking with his parents about our idea to build a new home within walking distance of them.

In the following months, there were countless hurdles to cross and steps to take toward acquiring the property and preparing to build. But the doors kept opening. New homes sales took off in the second quarter, and 2016 ended up being my best year of my career. Plus, we were able to sell the home that we still owned in Virginia to the family who had been renting it from us since our difficult yet miraculous sudden move in March 2013.

We currently live in a great little community, but country living is in my husband's blood. We believe the freedom and serenity of very familiar land and open space around us is the best lifestyle or "medical treatment" for his seizures. Plus, it's a wonderful environment for raising our children, especially with Adrian's parents and some of his siblings right across the street.

He is looking forward to teaching our children to fish in the stream that runs a few hundred feet behind our new house. And they'll build forts. And explore the trails looking for animal tracks. And swim in the creek. And drive golf carts and four-wheelers around the property.

It will be a good life.


Truly, we have come full circle. We are building our home next door to the home we first rented as a newly married couple 13 years ago. It belonged to Adrian's great aunt, until she passed away, and now is home to a sweet retired couple.

A lot of life and homes and moves have happened in the 13 years we've been married, but we feel so thankful and blessed for this opportunity. Not only are we building a great Home in a great spot, but our three young children are here to enjoy the experience with us.

God is answering our prayers in a big way. We have been on a wild journey, and there's still much to come, but we sincerely hope and believe this is HOME. A place to stay. A place to find peace.

Psalm 37:3-5

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.

Twenty Years in the Making

This is a story about a life-long friend of mine. An amazing woman with a special miracle.

Tall and slender with a long braid draped over her shoulder, Marisha chatters away with a charming southern accent. She picks up her fussing baby girl and holds her close, allowing her to nurse while she continues to share stories and funny quips about life.

Such a simple, even typical, moment I experienced with her last month. Yet an incredible story lies behind it.

Marisha's youthful look belies the fact that she is 42 years old. And 11 month old Rachel, is her miracle child, born to her and her husband after 20 years of marriage. Incredible.

For years and years they had prayed for a child. She watched and supported her two sisters as their families grew and they experienced mothering new life multiple times.

Finally, after 15 years of marriage, Marisha conceived and carried a baby boy. She was filled with joy. She was a mother. Praise the Lord! Her prayers had been answered.

But...she never had the chance to cradle her son. At 16 weeks along, there were complications and her pregnancy suddenly ended. Rian Jonathan went to heaven on 7/23/10.

"I never thought after all the prayers for him that he wouldn't stay here. Even as I laid in the hospital room after he was stillborn, I felt the prayers of the Saints and that peace of God all night." 

Marisha shared these words about that heart-breaking night. She said she stayed awake all night because every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was the small form lying at the foot of her bed.

Now, she held the love of a mother. And the ache of love lost. But the hope and belief that one day she would be able to hold and raise her own child.

Marisha kept believing. A few years passed by. And during that time, she had to say goodbye to her own mother Joy, a woman who was a very special kindergarten teacher to me.

In spite of her losses, Marisha held onto hope and continued to pray for a baby when others doubted.

In 2012, she had a vivid dream about having a daughter named Rachel and a younger son named Ian. Another three years later, part of that dream became reality.

By the grace of God, that pregnancy test plus sign showed up again in early 2015! It was happening. She had not even received shots or special treatments leading up to getting pregnant. How exciting! But still nerve wracking as she prayed over that life inside her to grow healthy and strong.

As she was praying for the new life growing inside, a close relative had a new baby. Unfortunately, life choices left them in a situation where they were unfit to parent the baby. Marisha stepped in to help provide care. Suddenly, she was both pregnant and caring for another baby! Yes, very tiring.

Marisha knew in her heart that she was carrying her daughter. Even before the ultrasounds confirmed it, she knew because of the dream.

Her miracle baby entered the world on 9/19/2015 at full-term, a beautiful and healthy girl. At long last, Marisha and her husband held their baby Rachel Denice. More than twenty years after their wedding.

"God healed my broken heart, but it was completed when Rachel was born!"

This week Rachel turned one year old. She's mommy's girl with bright eyes and a big smile. Like any baby, she's been a lot of work. She wakes up nearly every hour or two in the night. Her tummy does not tolerate many foods, so she's still nursing regularly and only eating tiny bits.

On top of the normal demands of learning to be new mom, Marisha had a big responsibility added to her plate a few months ago. There are now two young children from the family that needed support, and Marisha is their full-time guardian. That's right, three little ones under the age of three are in her home at once! Fortunately, her mother-in-law has moved in to help.

It's a different picture than what she dreamed of life as a new mom. And some days, drain her completely, especially when rest at night is so elusive. But she is a mother. Her heart's desire has at long last has been fulfilled. For that, she gives glory and praise to God.

And still holds onto hope for a son to hold.

Marisha and her miracle baby Rachel

Our Canadian Adventure

Eight day vacation. Seven passports. Six little cousins. Five days of travel. Four months of planning. Three different airports. Two countries. One fabulous Adventure!

That's the quick summary of our big family excursion to Canada this summer. A month ago, we were driving through Alberta and British Columbia, Canada to visit Adrian's older brother Jeremy and his family. On June 30 our children met their Uncle Jeremy, Aunt Jessica and three cousins - Girls age 6, 12, 13 - for the first time!

We were also thrilled to have Adrian's parents along with us to be a part of this special occasion as well as provide GREAT assistance in traveling with three young ones.

Selfie with my man on the Skywalk in Jasper National Park

Day 1: Let me just tell you, juggling passports and boarding passes through international security for a family of five is not for the faint of heart! We flew from Philadelphia, PA to Toronto, Ontario to Edmondton, Alberta. I was pretty impressed with AirCanada - all flights were on time and we had individual screens for movie watching in-flight. The only hiccup was confusion over passports for my husband Adrian and my daughter Adria, due to their similar names...we were last to board the plane in Philly because of it!

Checking in with Air Canada - Expedia had failed to note that Judah was traveling with us (Infant in Lap)!

We got it resolved but we think that contributed to confusion with passports at the boarding gate in Philly.

Judah looking out the window uncertain on his first flight. He snuggled in with Mommy and did well.

We gained 2 hours due to the time zones, and that night Adrian took us to a destination he'd visited years before - the West Edmonton Mall. This is not your average shopping mall. It is HUGE, boasting 5.3 MILLION square feet, 800+ stores, plus attractions like the world's largest in-door amusement park and a water park with a massive wave pool. We were only able to walk around for little while after a day of travel, but the girls were impressed and loved being able to enjoy some rides at the amusement park.

Our party of 7 outside Galaxyland amusement park inside the West Ed Mall.

Spinning on the teacups with my girls!

Day 2: Our party of 7 hopped in our rental, a white Toyota Sienna minivan (like we have at home), and drove through beautiful Jasper National Park in Alberta. You should add this place to your bucket list. Hours of gorgeous scenery and impressive snow capped mountains. Adrian and I had driven through this park nine years ago, so it was a special treat to bring our children with us this time.

I tried to take a panorama view of the stunning blue water in the glacier fed lakes.

Plus, we tried out the Glacier Skywalk - a popular new tourist attraction that enables you to walk along a mountain side and out onto a solid glass walkway with a ravine far below! I was impressed that Adria braved it, but not for long.

See that crazy looking thing sticking off the side of the mountain?

That's the glass skywalk on the far right with the ravine far below!

The kids were a little nervous, but they did go out on the walk for a short time - this is just before going on the glass.

Day 3: We drove 5 hours through quiet Canadian country from Jasper to a town in the heart British Columbia where Jeremy's family lives. After years of dreaming and saving, they recently built a new home on a lot that provides a peaceful view of the valley. It sounds like construction has been quite challenging and there is still work to be done, but it's a charming home that provided a lovely retreat for us.

Brothers chatting in Jeremy and Jessica's living room, with large windows showing off the great view.

Jessica has a beautiful garden from which we enjoyed fresh vegetables for the many delicious meals that she prepared for us. The oldest daughter cares for their 3 cows and milks one every day. All three girls are active speed skaters during the winter and are now getting into running, along with their parents.

Meeting the cousin's cows

COUSINS MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Day 4: July 1 was Canada Day - often celebrated much like America's July 4th. The young cousins spent hours giggling and playing together, including time in the pool and on the trampoline. Judah practiced his recently acquired skill of walking everywhere and was deeply fascinated by the staircase. Good conversation was shared among the adults. Granny and Grandad treasured taking it all in and babysat in the evening, so we parents could have double date night.

Enjoying Pool time on the only really hot day while we were there.

The girls enjoyed their Russian Matryoska doll collection.

Day 5: We all drove to a nearby mountain called Sinkhut, that has a fire watch tower. Some of us hiked to the top. It would have been too much for our little ones, so they were able to take a ride up a rough dirt road. The view was STUNNING from the top. You could see countless miles of mountains and countryside. The wind and mosquitoes were also rather impressive - ha!

Our Canadian Seely family!

Everyone enjoying the top of the mountain

Day 6: It was a quiet, rainy Sunday. We relaxed inside, trying to treasure our final day with family that we may not see again for years to come...

The kids watch with interest while their older cousins practice French horn and clarinet.

Day 7: The 4th of July. We packed up the rental mini-van, said our goodbyes early, and drive 9 hours across Canadian countryside back to a hotel by Edmonton airport. We never saw moose on the trip, but we did spot some good-looking caribou that day. Thankfully, the children traveled fairly well with the girls snuggled in on either side of Granny while Grandad and I took turns driving. Needless to say, we did not see any fireworks or Red, White and Blue flying around us that day.

Caribou on the road

Day 8: Head to airport at 5 a.m. Fly AirCanada back across the continent and two time zones to safely arrive in Philadelphia after 4 p.m. And yes, the worst part of the trip was getting stuck in rush hour traffic on this final leg of the trip home. But we did finally make it home close to 8 p.m.  I was back in the office the next morning and worked 6 days straight...

Johanna relaxing on the plane. The girls enjoyed flying.

It was all worth it. Priceless memories made. Wonderful conversation shared. Adria is already asking me when we can go back to Canada!!!

A special time...who knows how many years may pass before we all get together again.