Does Baby Sleep All Night?

"Does he sleep all night?"

This is the question I have heard the most since our son was born over six weeks ago.

No. The answer is No. 

In fact, I'm writing this around 3:30 a.m. because I couldn't get back to sleep after his 2:30 feeding and his 3 year old sister Johanna is having a rather restless night's sleep as well.

But in my experience, it's pretty rare for baby's less than two months old to sleep through the night. They are growing so rapidly at this point and need regular nourishment...throughout the day and night.

That said, when I get the other common question, "Is he a good sleeper?" 

I say, "Yes!"

People ask these questions because pretty much every parent has been there. Disrupted sleep is one of the first major challenges of parenthood. But, we should not have to suffer through sleepless nights too often.

Our baby Judah goes to bed for the night around 10 p.m. Typically, he sleeps 3-4 hours before he awakens crying and hungry around 2 a.m. I rock him and nurse for about 20 minutes then return him to his crib, where he falls back asleep for another 3 hours or so. He's up again around 5 a.m. to feed then up at 8 a.m. to nurse and get dressed for the day.

While I am awake a few times each night with Judah, I say he is a good sleeper because he wakes at regular times and falls right back to sleep after I feed him (usually). I don't have to sing, rock or hold him for hours at night.

Soon, I believe the distance between his nighttime feeding will get longer and eventually he will sleep all night on a regular basis.

Transition to the Crib

Just a week ago, we made the big transition to move him from the small cradle in our bedroom to his own crib in the nursery. The first couple nights, he did not like it as much but has settled in now.

Judah's sisters love on him during his first week home.
He slept in this cradle by our bed for his first 5 weeks.

I do miss the sounds of his cute baby coos and breathing, and it was much easier to just pick him up and lie in bed to nurse when he's right there. However, Judah can be pretty noisy, making it hard for us to rest well. It's especially important that his Daddy sleep well, since lack of sleep has been an apparent trigger for seizures in the past.

So, Judah sleeps in his own room now with a cheap, old baby monitor letting me know when he wakes up. It's the same one I used for Adria six years ago. I actually bought a video monitor when Judah was born, but after trying it out, I decided it wasn't worth $170. I know some parents love them, but I never really needed it before.

Judah taking a nap in his crib. He sleeps on his back at night, but naps better on his belly.
We can keep a close eye on his during the day.

Precious sleeping boy

I share all this about Judah's sleep patterns because getting your baby on a good sleep schedule is one of the most critical aspects of keeping your sanity as a parent.

Advice for Good Sleepers

For new parents, I have a few pieces of advice for helping your baby to sleep better:

1. Don't sleep with your baby!

If there is any advice I hope you take from me, it is this: Do not sleep with your baby! Aside from it being dangerous for your baby, it is the number one way to ensure that neither of you will get a good night's sleep. Sure, baby might cry less at first when he's in bed with you, but he will quickly become dependent on you and not able to develop good sleep patterns. I have heard of this issue with many young parents and even extreme cases where their 8 year old still wanted to sleep in the parent's bedroom! Spare yourself and help your marriage and your baby by heeding this advice.

My exception to this rule is in the morning. After Judah's 5 a.m. feeding, I'll often keep him in bed for extra snuggles :)



2. Schedule naps at the same time every day

Good sleep patterns at night start with a good schedule during the day. In the first weeks of life, babies generally sleep A LOT. Some days it seemed that Judah only awoke to eat and went right back to sleep. But now he's awake more and takes a nap in the morning and a long 3-4 hour nap most afternoons. I'm still developing a good Sleep, Eat, Awake schedule for him (since I have him out and about too often...), but I know that when babies get regular rest during the day they sleep better at night.

3. Create a night-time routine

Just as with the day schedule, it's important to create an environment and routine at night that let's baby know it's time to sleep. Ideally, lie baby down in the same place and at the same time every night. I'm just starting the following routine with Judah, now that he's in the nursery:

• Change his diaper and clothes
• Turn the lights down low in his room
• Play a CD of quiet lullabys (most parents probably have a playlist on their iPod or phone these days)
• Rock him while he nurses
• Lay him down in the crib before he's completely asleep (if possible)

It's best if baby is not dependent on being held to fall asleep, but don't let that stop you from enjoying this special time!

4. Let him cry a little

If you have done all this and baby is fussy in bed, it's okay to let him cry a little while trying to fall asleep. Full on screaming and wailing will need your attention, but sometimes it's good to give baby a few minutes to learn to calm himself. And during the night as baby gets older, he might make fussy sounds but don't pick him up right away. Wait a few minutes to see if he's really waking up to feed or just between sleep cycles.

5. Be Relaxed

The more relaxed you can be while feeding your baby (whether bottle or breast) before bed and during the night, the better chance he will relax. If you are tense and upset, your baby will sense that and likely act the same. Try to focus on the wonderful miracle of life that you're holding, not how exhausted you are because this child is being difficult! I know this is no easy task at times.

Just My Opinion

You can take it or leave it, but these are my words of wisdom after having three babies. Our girls have been great sleepers through the years, and I attribute it to these tips.

Of course, some days I am the biggest offender of my own advice. I take the kids here and there with no care or worry about baby's schedule, just making sure he gets fed! Life's no fun if you're too rigid, but keeping some type of schedule definitely helps create order. And it's especially helpful when it comes to answering the question....

Does your baby sleep all night?

Big Sisters

These two little girls are so in love with Baby Brother... usually.

Sometimes they literally smother him with kisses and other times the videos and games on the iPad are much more interesting.

But they are clearly disappointed by one thing. He's growing too fast!

Yesterday, 6-year-old Adria said, "Mom, he's so 'uncute' compared to when he first came out of your belly. He's getting so big!" And then she let out a few rather pitiful sobs. Another night she saw me holding him and remarked, "He was so precious and little when he was born. He's growing too fast!"

When Judah was first born, just over five weeks ago, 3-year-old Johanna would often say, "Ah, he's so precious, Mom. Awww, he's so cute!"  Now, she says he has a big belly ;)

The "Smother Brother" kisses

It is true, our little man has grown and changed so much over the past two weeks. The Newborn size clothes that were a perfect fit early on, are now packed away, and Judah is filling out the 0-3 months clothes quite nicely...for now.

I knew it would happen this fast. I've seen it twice before. And still, I wish we had just a little more time in that adorable newborn phase when babies are so tiny. Yet, I'm thankful for a happy, healthy growing baby. Who is still super cute, I might add.

Daddy's photo shoot of Judah, just over a month old

Judah's big sisters have had much to say about him and babies, since his arrival. Here are a few sayings I thought were especially cute:

• "Mom, do all baby Men have such hairy ears?" Adria noticing Judah's fuzzy ears.
• "He has the cutest little but ever!" Adria exclaimed after watching me change Judah when he first came home. This was followed by a shriek and, "Baby boy pee-pees are gross!!!" (waahahahahaahaa!)
• "Mama, did you hold Jo-Jo lots and lots when I was baby?" Johanna says as she sees me rocking baby brother.
• "I'm going to have twins when I grow up!" Adria said. My reply, "Haha! That's up to God."
• Her response, "I'm so glad He gave us a little brother like we wanted. Thank you!" Then she blew a kiss toward heaven.
• "Ahhh, baby brother is getting all your lovins'. I wish I got more." Adria said after she saw me give Judah dozens of kisses on his cheeks. Of course, then I had to give her a kiss attack! There may be a wee bit of baby jealousy.
• "Mom, is his belly button all better?" Johanna asked after his umbilical cord came out around 2 weeks. The still attached cord clearly bothered them.
• "This baby makes our family even cuter!" Adria said. 

It's pretty fun and entertaining to have two little "mamas" around to "help" with their brother. They are usually good, but they both seem convinced that they can pick him up...which this mama does not allow! And their affections can get rather overbearing.  But I know they just want to show their love.

I do hope they enjoy it, because he's just going to keep growing and changing faster than they want! Faster than I want too, but it's all part of the parenthood adventure.

Mommy and her precious babies

Speaking of growing, Judah is sleeping in his nursery crib for the first time tonight instead of the cradle in our bedroom. Here's to hoping it goes well, and that I'll just be up the normal 2 to 3 times a night to feed him and not more!

Crib Drama Tonight

We had just put the girls to bed when the drama happened. Daddy had to help me out more than usual tonight because Adria was being especially fussy and disobedient. I think it's due to her not feeling well with allergies or something, but she kept crying.

Just as he was getting Adria calmed down, I heard another cry.

I was actually getting the laptop out to write about Adria's pre-school experience when I heard the cry from my baby girl. It was not an "I'm not happy to be in bed" cry, it was different. That was definitely a "Mommy, Help I'm hurting!" cry.

I ran over to Johanna's room and turned on the light to find her little chubby leg caught in the crib! Up to her thigh. She must have been kicking energetically trying to avoid sleep and somehow wedged it in there.

Ok, just ease it out. Hold still, Baby. (yeah right). Wow, this leg won't budge!

At 21 months, Johanna is super cute with a little extra cushioning around her knees and thighs, just like her mama had. Ok, fine...like her mama has.

As the screams increased with my lack of progress, Daddy came in to take charge. I tried to comfort Johanna as she began to shake and twist in pain. Oh, poor baby!

After a couple minutes of uselessly trying to free her leg, Daddy was threatening to break the crib to get it out. But, right then he realized a way to gradually squeeze the chubbies through as I held her in a semi-lifted position.

Freedom!

This is the crib that held my baby's leg captive for a few minutes. This photo was taken in our Virginia home. We haven't had the motivation to really decorate her new room since the move to Delaware in April. Sorry baby.

She shook and squirmed as I held her in my arms trying to comfort her after the ordeal. Even blankie and the rocker and lullabies playing didn't help.

We noticed a bruise on her inner knee, and she actually began to calm down when Daddy placed a cold pack on it. But she started up again when he left the room.

He came back in and spoke in his comforting Daddy voice, and again she settled more. Looks like this one's going to require some Daddy snuggles to feel better.

And so he did. Take her and rock her and she relaxed into sleep within minutes.

He's such a great Daddy to his little girls. Their care giver, protector and greatest advocate.

Being a stay-at-home Dad can be so hard at times, but in moments like these when he is needed and their special bond is obvious, I know he treasures his time with them.

Almost as much as he treasures the peace and quiet of them both being asleep right now :)

But, after the night's drama, I am wondering if it's time for her to be done with the crib? Adria was in the same crib until almost 2 1/2 years old. I really don't think I'm quite ready to give our Adventure Baby the freedom to get in and out of bed as she pleases, but I do hope this doesn't happen again!

I took this sweet photo of Johanna sleeping on the couch yesterday morning, after she had woken up early and needed some mommy snuggles to get back to sleep.