Where should I deliver my Baby?

For the last few months, I have been asking this question...Where should I deliver my Baby?

One might think that by the third time around I would be a pro and have fundamental questions like this answered very early in my pregnancy.

Yet here I am, six months pregnant with the arrival of our little boy just a couple months away and still pondering this question. Alas, I think we have finally decided on a plan...But as any mother knows, one's best laid plans for baby's delivery can (and usually do) turn out drastically different.

Mommy at 23 weeks pregnant and two little princesses at my side.
photo taken about 2 weeks ago

First Pregnancy

I remember asking this question with my first pregnancy. Would it just be best to deliver at our local, southern Delaware hospital? What exactly is a birthing center? Should I consider that? My mom delivered me at home...was that an option I liked? And ultimately, which option was best for my baby and I?

In the end, the decision on WHERE was made for us. Almost without option. After my 20 week ultrasound with Adria and the earth-shaking revelation (at least in our little world!) that she had a serious malformation called spina bifida, we were quickly told where we needed to go. Only one hospital in Delaware had the technology and specialist to give her the unique care she would need - Christiana Care Hospital in Newark, which was 90 minutes away.

Secondly, my choice on HOW to deliver was taken away. Because my baby's spina bifida was severe enough that she had a "sack" in which her spinal cord literally protruded from her lower back, a vaginal birth would likely cause further damage to her spinal cord. It was highly advised that I plan to deliver via Cesarean Section.

And that's what I did. In the afternoon of September 8, 2008 Adria was delivered by C-section at Christiana Hospital...with my husband and a host of a dozen or so doctors, residents, and nurses around us. This was a week later than my original scheduled c-section (read more about that HERE) but all went as well as we could hope. The very next day Adria had surgery to put her spinal cord back in place and close the opening on her back.

Adria enters the world!

Second Pregnancy

Two years later, after a major move to an apartment in Indianapolis, a positive pregnancy test and bloodwork showed our second baby was on the way! Through a friend's recommendation, I found a great OB/GYN in this new state and had great confidence in his ability. I went into my 10 week OB visit expecting to discuss more about my options for where to deliver in the area. Instead, I got the news that my pregnancy did not appear to be progressing as it should...tears. A week later, I found myself in agonizing pain with heavy bleeding and knew what was happening. I lost our baby in January 2011, the same week we moved into our new home in Indiana.

Unfortunately, that was not the end of the miscarriage. Two weeks later a dramatic incident occurred during a follow-up visit to my OB. Suffice it to say, the bleeding would not stop! Next thing I knew, I had fainted and was being carried out to the car by my husband and OB, then taken to the ER at the hospital next door.

On February 7...my 29th birthday...I had an emergency D&C (dilation and curettage) surgery at Community Hospital South to remove all trace of my pregnancy.

Third Pregnancy

Despite all the drama, we still wanted another baby and became pregnant again soon after the miscarriage. My pregnancy history was now more complicated with a c-section, special needs child, and a miscarriage on my record... And the question resurfaced, Where should I deliver my Baby?

My OB was very supportive when I asked him about the option of delivering this baby as a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section). Call me crazy, but I really wanted the chance to go into labor and push a baby out like a "normal mom." My c-section had healed well and baby Johanna appeared to be growing perfectly healthy inside of me.

My OB was a sole practice who actually delivered babies at two different hospitals that were both within 15 minutes of our Indiana home. We selected the one we really liked, which was the same hospital where I had surgery earlier that year. That is NOT the hospital where Johanna was born.

Just after noon on December 1, 2011 my water broke while I was walking through Wal-Mart with my Mom and Adria...that was lovely. I went to the hospital and had monitors put on my belly, which is necessary when doing VBAC delivery. However, my OB had asked that I go to my second choice hospital since he already had a mother laboring there and we would likely be delivering around the same time. In other words...if I went to the hospital I really wanted, he might not make it there in time to deliver my baby and another doctor would need to step in.

I followed his advice and many hours of labor plus 45 minutes of pushing later, I successfully delivered Johanna via VBAC around 4 a.m. on December 2 at St. Francis Hospital in Indianapolis.

Johanna enters the world, much to her sister's delight!

Fourth Pregnancy

Now, I find myself back in Delaware another three years later asking the question...Where should I deliver my Baby?

None of the hospitals where I delivered are really options. My birth history is further complicated with this fourth pregnancy having now had a VBAC and wanting to try that again. Some moms think I'm crazy, since a C-section seems "easier"...schedule a date, no painful labor, surgery performed and presto, there's your baby! However, it's not quite that easy and the healing process is rough and can take longer, plus I'd rather not be cut open again if I don't have to. Sorry to be so blunt!

BUT, in "slower, lower" Delaware a VBAC is not an easy option...apparently...even if you've already had one successfully. There are two hospitals in rural Sussex county, but neither offers a 24 hour anesthesiologist and OR staff or a NICU - all preferred when attempting a VBAC delivery.

My local OB was open to allowing me to try a VBAC delivery at Nanticoke Hospital, but he had to advise me that is was not "recommended" at a hospital without those services. It's just 15 minutes from home, my brothers were born there many years ago, and many of my friends have delivered there. However, it seems like it's not going to be the best option for my baby and me.

This week, I finally made the decision to transfer my prenatal care to a new team of doctors in Kent County and make plans to deliver our baby at Bayhealth - Kent General Hospital in Dover, about 45 minutes from home. They offer the full spectrum of services that are advised for Moms with a more "interesting" birth history like mine.

You'll have to stay tuned to see how these plans all pan out a few months from now and what the story around this baby will be! Praying for a smooth and fairly uneventful delivery this time.


P.S. If you're pregnant for the first time, don't let my story worry you too much, all this is not typical. That said, do not be surprised if your "birth plan" goes much different than planned!

P.S.S. If you ever feel like sharing your birth stories, I love to hear them! Maybe it's because we connect as we relive the wild blend of joy and misery than can accompany bringing a new life into the world... 

Her First Day of School

On this day six years ago, we were sitting in Christiana Hospital ready and excited to meet our baby girl for the first time. But, she was not ready to meet us. Mommy's C-section delivery was rescheduled for several days later. (Read more about that day HERE.)

Today, the roles were reversed. Our baby girl was ready and excited to go to her first day of Kindergarten! But, we were not quite ready for this day. Yet we were so proud of this girl!

We still vividly remember the disappointment on that September 2 day six years ago, when we didn't get to meet her. The day when we still wondered what she would look like and whether she'd ever be able to walk.

Today, we got to WALK with Adria as she entered her new school, excited to start Kindergarten. Amazing.

Yesterday, the first words out of her mouth while still in bed were...

"TOMORROW! FINALLY...I GET TO GO TO SCHOOL. I'VE BEEN WAITING YEARS AND YEARS!"

Hahaha!!! She's too funny.

And of course, we had to photo document this momentous day...

She specifically picked this outfit to wear for her first day.

And baby sister had to join in and show off her Frozen backpack too.

Daddy bought his girls Frozen backpack (Yes, we labeled them...)

Okay, look at Mommy and smile.

Pretty please, look at Mommy for one photo...

Thank you, sweetie! (Even if the sign's not that visible.)

We made it to school on time...yeah! (Mommy had a nightmare about this 2 days before.)

Yeah, the morning sun was bright on this super hot September day.

Just before going in, we saw a familiar face and had her take a family photo. 

Thank you, Laura Schrock!

Running inside!

Right away, Adria saw her pre-school teachers from last year, who were there

to help greet the new Kindergarten class and be familiar faces. She was thrilled!

She almost knocked over her pre-school teacher Mrs. Mozingo with her surprise hug.

Waiting in the gym for the school buses to arrive with the rest of her class.

Sitting with her pre-school friend Tanner.

More of the 18 students in her culturally diverse class arrived.

Selfie shot, while Mommy fights to hold back the tears.

Mommy managed to keep the tears back until I walked back to the van with Daddy and baby sister. There were just a few minutes to shed tears, because right after we dropped of Adria for her first day of Kindergarten, we had to take little sister Johanna to her pre-school Open House. (She starts tomorrow.)

Checking out Johanna's pre-school in Seaford. She'll attend two mornings a week.

Johanna tries out some toys in her classroom.

Their daily schedule is on the wall.

The best part of pre-school...she'll attend with her friend Ali, who is just one day younger.

This is going to be fun. They have baby dolls :)

Ali and Johanna checking out some games.

We greeted other parents and her teachers, but only stayed for about 30 minutes. Mommy still had to get to work after this exciting (and emotion filled) morning! It was a long day as I had to deal with a tough customer and later needed to stay after hours for an appointment.

But, I was able to get the report from Adria that she loved her first day and looks forward to tomorrow. Her teachers agreed...

And she colored this cute picture.

But by the time we needed to get ready for bed...we were all a little grumpy and tired.

Speaking of tired...I seriously need to get to bed.

Thank you, Lord, for preparing us and our daughter's for this special day!

(As you can read HERE, we had much to prepare.)

Christmas in Our First Home 2006

Whether it ever existed I do not recall, but there seems to be no Christmas letter for 2006. However, I cannot let that year just pass by without a review. It was a significant year - the year we built our first home.

Our First Home

The Seely family has a large farm in Greenwood, and Adrian and I were blessed with a piece of land to build a home. We decided on a beautiful ranch design with a finished bonus room and 2-car garage. At the time, we thought this might be the only home we'd ever build and where we'd raise our family...we wanted to do it right the first time.

The home we built in Greenwood, Delaware. Photo taken in 2009 with landscaping.

Construction started on our home in early January, just weeks before my 24th birthday. Truth be told, I knew little about what to expect for the cost and monthly payment; real estate was quite foreign to me at the time.

History now shows us that early 2006 was just about the height of the housing market (if not slightly past) and home loans were easily obtained with no money down. We locked in at a 6.6% interest rate for 30 years.
Side note: mortgage rates hit an all-time low late 2012 with fixed rates less than 4%; that equates to savings of at least $400 a month on a home this size!

That year Adrian devoted countless hours to our home. He assisted with the framing, installed the plumbing, laid the tile in the kitchens and bathrooms, hung the siding, painted the walls and much more. He is very handy, especially when it comes to construction! I usually left for work in Wilmington by 6:30 a.m. and didn't get home until close to 7:00 p.m., so I did not get to see much progress until the weekends.

By June, the home was complete and we were ready to move in! However, right around that time, a frightening incident occurred.

The Washing Machine Incident

Adrian was working on installing the new washing machine when he let out a deafening yell. I ran in the laundry room to find him lying on the ground with a massive cut in his right forearm (I could see inches of his muscle...gags). He had tied into a 220 volt and the electric shock had actually cut his skin. Immediately, we went to the car and I started driving to the hospital about 20 minutes away.

The problem is, I don't handle blood and pain well at all. About halfway there his arm starting bleeding heavily and I couldn't take it any more. I pulled over just in time to put the car in park before I fainted! That's right, hard core passed out in the driver's seat leaving my husband to call his parents to come rescue us and take us to the ER. What a day!

It's really a miracle that Adrian lived through that. The doctor told us that if both his hands had been on the washer and that current passed through his heart, he would not be here...That wasn't Adrian's first close call and it certainly wouldn't be his last.

Two Wonderful Women

Once we moved into our new home, we welcomed two housemates. Women from out-of-state who were dating local friends of ours and wanted to be closer as their relationships blossomed. We jokingly called it the halfway house because within a year both women were engaged and soon married.

Three engaged couples and us! Ruth and Beth are on the left with their fiancés Brad and Ken.

Brad and Amanda are to our right. If we took this picture again today, there would be 8 children in it :)

 



We loved being able to share our home with Ruth and Beth, and the special opportunity to get to know these amazing women! Little did we know that four years later we would move to Indianapolis near Beth and Ken.

Youth Group

Our home also became a fun hang-out for the youth group we continued to lead. As youth pastor, Adrian was an exceptional speaker and leader; he was able to challenge and encourage many of the youth to recognize and use their talents for God's glory. That year, our church of about 100 members had a youth group that grew to over 40 teens attending our weekly youth gathering. I loved seeing God use Adrian in this capacity, but dealing with teen drama was no piece of cake.

Marketing Fun

Though I had a long commute, I did enjoy my marketing position with Nason Construction. That year they completed a $30+ million expansion to Christiana Hospital, Delaware's #1 medical complex. I worked tirelessly to put together an award submission that resulted in Nason being the first Delaware firm to receive a First Place Construction Excellence Award from Associated Builders and Contractors! Unfortunately, I did not get to attend the award ceremony in Las Vegas.

I never would have imagined that two years later, I would be having surgery in one of those new state-of-the-art Operating Rooms that Nason Construction built. Christiana was the only hospital in Delaware that has the expertise deliver a baby with spina bifida.

New Baby Boy

One more big event that year was the birth of my first nephew. For the first time, I got to really imagine what it would be like to have a baby as I experienced pregnancy and birth through the eyes of my dear sister. I was able to join her in Vermont when Gabriel was born, and I fell totally in love with this little guy!

Holding my precious nephew Gabriel (this was taken the summer of 2007)

We finished the year celebrating Christmas with Adrian's family in our new home. It was truly a blessed year in our lives.

12 Days in the NICU, so long yet so short

Baby Adria spent the first 12 days of her life in the NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) at A.I. DuPont Hospital for Children. Really, we were fortunate it wasn't more because many babies have to stay much longer. For instance, my friend Amanda's preemie little boy was recently in the NICU for 35 days and some of the mom's we met during our time in the NICU had been there for months with their babies.

I ached for them because even just 12 days can feel like forever when that is your whole world. 

Her first three days in the NICU, I was not with her. It was a heart-wrenching experience to deliver my newborn baby and have her taken away from me for days after only getting to see her a few minutes. As I've mentioned before, she had to have spina bifida closure surgery at the children's hospital about 20 minutes away, while I had to remain at Christiana Hospital for a few days to recover from my own surgery.

It confused my body. Other than the piercing pain in my gut from the C-section, my body had no proof that my baby had come out. I had never gone into labor or had a single contraction that I felt, and there were no cries or coos from a newborn baby around me.

While it was painful during those days to be apart, I was comforted knowing I would see her soon. I couldn't help but think of mothers who do not have that comfort... Plus, Daddy was there with our little girl, while my mom offered support to me.

Daddy in the NICU while the nurse tended to Adria

I wanted desperately to be able to give our baby mommy's milk and the early colostrum that they call "liquid gold" for newborns. But, my body did not think it was time for milk yet. I tried to pump every three hours, but during those first few days only a few drops came out. The nurse would still put it in a tiny syringe, and have it taken up to A.I. DuPont Hospital where Ade could help feed it to her.

However, Adria was not allowed to eat anything her first day of life before her surgery. She was not happy about that! She had an IV that nourished her body and was quickly introduced to the Soothie pacifier, which Ade said she sucked on feverishly. That was the start of a special three year relationship between her and Soothie :)

Adria was blessed to have one of the best pediatric neurosurgeons in the world to operate on her back and put the exposed spinal cord back in place. Dr. Benjamin Warf was only at A.I. DuPont Hospital a couple years, but he was there when my baby needed his especially gifted hands and brain. I will share more about this incredible doctor another time.

Baby Adria still sleeping from the anesthesia on the day of her spina bifida closure surgery.

Her surgery did go as well as we could have hoped, and she was able to take formula from a bottle within a day. We were very fortunate that she did not need a feeding tube or oxygen like many NICU babies. There was a 3 or 4 inch area on her lower back wear she had stitches from the surgery, so she had to lie on her tummy only for several days.

She was born on Monday, had surgery on Tuesday, and on Thursday I was released to go to my baby girl. Praise the Lord!

From the time I got to the hospital that day until she was released over a week later, we did not go home. We spent every day in the private room she had in the NICU. We ate meals in the hospital cafeteria, where I was given a free pass for food since I was a "pumping" mother. The only time we left the hospital during those 12 days was at night to sleep in our room at the nearby Ronald McDonald House. Thank you, if you've ever supported that charity! We were able to stay there for less than $20 a night, and it was a blessing even if we could not sleep that well.

Our only break out into the "real world" was a couple times when friends came to visit and treated us out to dinner. We suddenly remembered there was more to the world than our little baby and her hospital room. It was a blessing to have many friends and family come welcome our little girl. They'd have to take turns coming in as only two visitors (including me or Ade) were allowed in her room at any time.

Aunt Leona, who would become a huge help over the years with Adria!

Mommy holds baby for first time without pillow

Ahh, Daddy loves his little girl

Granny Seely falling in love

Uncle Cameron, who is the best gift-giver and ultimate fun

Uncle Aaron, who can always make Adria laugh

Mommy's cousin Clairissa

Gramma Outten loving on her newest grand-daughter

Grandpa Outten gives unconditional love

Mommy doesn't mind the cries

Lovin' her Soothie

Mommy's friend Amanda

Mommy's marathon friend Lori

Mommy's friend Rita

Super sweet Aunt Bonnie

We did not have to stay at the hospital all the time, but we wanted too. Just to sit there and hear her breathing and look at her precious features kept us interested. Plus, doctors regularly came by without notice and had important updates and valuable information about her progress that we didn't want to miss.

She underwent many tests during those 12 days, but the most important were the ultrasound and then MRI of her brain. The ventricles of her brain were slightly enlarged with fluid, so they were monitoring her mild hydrocephalus to see if she would need a second surgery on that before going home. Thankfully, she did not and we were able to bring her home once Dr. Warf determined that her back was healed enough to ride in a car seat.

They also showed us how to catheterize Adria to empty her bladder if necessary, but the tests on her bladder and kidneys did not indicate that we would definitely need to do that.

Though the days felt long sitting in that hospital room, we couldn't imagine driving home an hour and a half away and leaving our precious baby. We so appreciated the great care that she received at the hospital, and it gave me the opportunity to rest and heal from my surgery as well. But, when they gave us the okay to be released, we were more than happy to be packing up and heading home with our newborn!