As we look forward to the arrival of what looks to be our first son, I find myself amused as I compare what it's like to be expecting a third child versus number one and number two. I would say the love a mother feels in her heart for the baby she carries does not lessen, but her emotions and planning for the baby certainly do change with each one.
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| Our first two babies greeting the Easter Bunny during Friday's Kite Festival near the beach. |
Reading about Baby
With our first child, Adria, I was so excited about having a baby and all the mystery and newness that surrounded creating life. Even though I had the experience of my sister's stories with the two young children she had, it was an all new endeavor of learning and preparing for my baby. I immersed myself into reading What to Expect When You're Expecting and read that cover to cover, along with a couple other pregnancy books. (If you really know me, you'd know that it generally takes me a loooong time to get through a book, if I finish it at all, so it's impressive that I showed such dedication).I will admit that it became much harder to read the books about what to expect from our newborn, after five months along when we found out that Adria had spina bifida. Suddenly, they did not seem as helpful or pertinent, yet I continued with an adjusted focus on reading about what to expect with spina bifida. That got overwhelming pretty quickly, and I returned to the generic baby books.
When our second daughter, Johanna, was on the way almost three years later, I wasn't even sure where those baby books were. We had moved twice since Adria's birth, so they were hidden somewhere in the shuffle. I did eventually find a couple, and review a few pages but now that I had a toddler to care for who was just learning to walk, there wasn't nearly as much time for reading.
This third time, those books are long gone. We've moved twice (again) since Johanna. And those books were given to other expectant mothers over the past three years. Now, I just downloaded a pregnancy app on my iPhone to help me keep track of how far along I am...otherwise I'd have no idea. But we are getting, so close it's easy to remember!
Naming Baby
I was not that girl who had baby names picked out for my children by the time I was age 10...or 20. Naming our babies has been tough! Still, we were pretty set on Adria's name a few months before she was born. Her name, of course, is the female form of her Daddy's name, and she shares his initials. She had his heart, right from the start ;)
When it came time to name baby 2 and we knew she was a girl, we decided to do a name similar to Mommy's name and use my initials. Johanna means "Gift from God" and we truly felt that, as she came to us soon after we had experienced a miscarriage.
We love the opportunity to pick out a boy name this third time around, but it has not been easy either. We are 90% sure on his name at this point, but....you'll have to wait until he's born to find that out! As we did with the girls' names, we'll keep this a surprise until he arrives. It's a good way to keep outside opinions to a minimum ;)
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| Do you like our fun T-shirts? Mine is new, but Adrian has been able to wear "The Impregnator" shirt for all three babies ;) |
Boby Stuff
In truth, I feel very fortunate when it comes to pregnancy. Having wide hips and a long torso ends up being a pretty good combination for baby carrying! That said, there are some obvious differences this third time around. My biggest pregnancy issues with the girls were the obnoxious burping and gas along with ditsy pregnancy brain...you know what I mean.
But this little guy...For starters, I weigh more now than I ever did with either of the girls, and I still have a month to go! I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I want to eat all the time. My friends with boys claim it was this way for them too. My belly is definitely protruding more than it did with the girls. And the heartburn has been awful and regular. I so do not remember that. Plus, I got bad winter colds that lasted for weeks on end, leaving my stomach in agony to the point of tears from all the coughing. Sometimes I feared it would never stop. And now a cold is starting to return...I am not happy about this.
But all that said, I feel very good in general and am perfectly content for baby to wait until his due date of May 4 to arrive. I've got lots still to do at home and work to prepare!
But all that said, I feel very good in general and am perfectly content for baby to wait until his due date of May 4 to arrive. I've got lots still to do at home and work to prepare!
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| Momma's belly is looking pretty large now with a month to go! |
Birth Plan
I laugh when I read on-line guides to "creating your birth plan" because in my experience and so many others, nothing goes as planned when it's time to deliver your baby.
Adria was scheduled to be delivered via C-section on Sept. 2 to lessen the risk of damaging her spina bifida sack. However, a test showed that her lungs were not quite ready for delivery so we played a waiting game for a week, and I ultimately delivered her via C-section on Sept. 8 with a doctor I had never met.
With Johanna, my plan was attempt a more tradition delivery, also know as VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section). Since I had never gone into labor or experienced this with Adria, I worked with a doula recommended by a friend to provide me with advice and planning. Ultimately, my water broke in Walmart (read more on that incident HERE) and I had to go straight to the hospital and be put on monitors. I had a very supportive OB in Indianapolis, and I was still able to deliver vaginally but it was almost 16 hours later. They had to give me Pitocin to keep my labor progressing, and when they did that I asked for the epidural. I have to admit, I am a fan of the epidural...it has drawbacks but it enabled me to "rest" during those later hours of labor and then focus during the 45 minutes of pushing it took to deliver Jo-Jo.
This third time, I've had to adjust my plans as our local hospital in southern Delaware does not generally perform VBAC deliveries, even though I am a good candidate for another one. Halfway through pregnancy, I changed to a new OB office and plan to deliver at the Dover hospital. It was actually a tough decision (Read more at WHERE SHOULD I DELIVER MY BABY). Honestly, my biggest plan this time is to make sure I pack a bag for the hospital soon, so that Adrian doesn't have to flounder and figure out what I need like last time. Then, I'll hope and pray for a safe and fairly short labor and delivery with a healthy baby at the end.... and I'll probably get that epidural again. Not ashamed.
Post Baby Awareness
One of the biggest differences this third time is the awareness of what comes AFTER the baby arrives. As much as I'm looking forward to cuddling and snuggling with a little bundle of sweetness, I also know what is coming. I remember all the baby fussiness and lack of sleep, particularly in the first few weeks. Then, there's all the mommy "discharge" and body aches and pains after delivery. A friend recently asked me if was easier to recover from the C-section or vaginal birth. In truth, they were both so different that it's hard to say, but if I had to pick one...I'd say the vaginal birth was a tougher recovery.
Of course, my situation was unique, as I had more time to recover with Adria. For three days after her birth, I laid in a hospital room without her as she was 20 minutes away in a children's hospital recovering from her back closure surgery...It was terrible to be apart from my newborn baby. But it did give me the chance to rest and rebuild strength for the next two weeks we would spend with her in the NICU.
Our experience with Johanna was much different. She arrived at 4:44 a.m. on a Friday, and we headed home on Saturday night. In theory, that's great. In reality, it was actually somewhat harder to be at home that first week than in the NICU because we did not have the support of all those doctors and nurses 24/7.
And let's not forget the milk coming in and figuring how to get this baby to latch onto Mommy and drink. I think many young moms are not prepared for the initial challenge of breast-feeding and the pain involved. But my advice is to hang in there if you can and keep trying! It will get better, and if it doesn't work for you and baby, don't feel guilty.
Oh yeah, and we worked on getting the nursery ready today, so I'm feeling more prepared :)
Final Thoughts
There's so much more I could say about the differences this third time around, but at the end of the day, it is true that this baby will get less of my attention than the first. There's no way around it. I have two inquisitive little girls that will continue to demand my time as well. And I know, it's going to get really tough to balance all their needs, but this Baby is what we wanted and prayed for. He is already deeply loved by everyone in our family, and we look forward to meeting him in about a month!Oh yeah, and we worked on getting the nursery ready today, so I'm feeling more prepared :)
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