Happy tears. Sad tears. Just-because-I'm-hormonal tears. They come out of nowhere these days and catch me off guard. Or wake me up in the middle of the night.
Like now. Finally I gave in. After crying, praying, kissing my sleeping daughters, and eating a Pop-tart...I decided to write. So bear in mind this is being drafted at 4 a.m. and therefore should be read with grace.
Why am I feeling so emotional?
With our baby's due date just three weeks from today (Yikes!), I am just emotional in general. But yesterday was one of those days that provided so many opportunities for emotion. It held a milestone event for Adria, a church friend's funeral, another Sunday at the office, and a celebration for the Baby boy that's about to join us...among other things.
The Baby Shower
Last night, my Mom and Adrian's Mom hosted a Baby Shower with the theme "Frogs, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails" for our little guy. It was super cute, and I could tell a lot of time had gone into the preparations. I felt honored and thankful that such effort would be put forth for a third baby. Much appreciated, Mom! My sister made the trip down from Vermont to be there, and it was so good to visit with some dear friends and family. Thoughtful and adorable gifts and boy clothes were given to us and baby, along with many much-needed Diapers and wipes!
 |
| My Mom tapped into her creative side to make this cute poster for the Shower along with Frog, Snail, and Puppy Dog Cake Pops! |
But the silly thing is that I awoke in the night crying because Adria was not there to open the gifts with me. Such a silly Mommy! She has been so excited about Baby Brother coming and baby stuff, that I thought she'd love to help look through the bags of goodies. Instead, she and sister Johanna took advantage of the sunny spring day and played outside with cousins and other little girls who were there. You know, like any normal child, so I didn't want to stop them.
 |
| Me and my girls at the end of the Baby Shower |
Then in bed, my mind wandered back to Adria's Baby Shower, nearly seven years ago (has it been so long?). I remember many people being there to celebrate her coming. I remember taking a few minutes to share about her special life and the unknowns with Spina Bifida, and our hope and prayer that even though the baby I carried had a life-altering "abnormality" that she could still live a blessed and fulfilling life. And just look at her now! I wished I would have said something about it last night, and publicly thanked God for Adria's blessing along with the blessing of a perfectly healthy little girl in Johanna and the opportunity to have a son. Yes, the tears are falling.
The Soccer Game
A huge testimony to Adria's blessing and her incredible life also occurred yesterday. She played in her first ever soccer game! This was her first official sports game of any kind, actually. She ran around the field with other children age 6 and under, and kicked the ball several times, falling just a couple times. Of course, she was regularly distracted by her fan club that kept arriving to watch...there were about a dozen of us there.
But let me tell you, I was laughing along with crying the happy tears. Watching these little ones play 3 on 3 soccer was hysterical! Half the time, they were kicking the ball the wrong way or standing there oblivious that the ball had come to them. Still, each team somehow managed to score two goals.
 |
| Look at Adria running after the soccer ball! |
The game lasted less than 30 minutes and even with many breaks, Adria's cheeks were flushed and she was quite winded and tired by the end. But, we were all so proud! Our little girl, who can't wiggle her toes or walk well without leg braces to support her weak calves and ankles, was out there playing SOCCER! And it was all by her choice. When she saw the paper come home from school with the soccer balls all over it, she begged to play. Mom and Dad were apprehensive, but she really wanted to and we had to let her try...even if it meant she'd fall on her face time and again. But this little girl knows how to get up again (sometimes with a few tears of her own).
Here's Adria at her first soccer practice a few weeks ago:
 |
| Mom and Dad supporting our little worn out soccer star post-game. |
The Funeral
In between the Soccer Game and the Baby Shower, there was a Funeral. It was for a dear lady from church, almost my parents' age, who just lost her battle with cancer. I was not able to attend because I had to work, but I heard that more than 200 people were there to remember the life of this soft-spoken woman with a servant heart and deep love for God and her family.
Though I was not very close to her personally, just the thought of her family's loss and the empty spot that will be left in the church is enough to bring tears. Yet, we still can rejoice that she is whole and healed in her new heavenly home.
A friend at my shower said it was really a great service in her honor. The service and reception went fairly long, so many of my church friends were not able to attend our Baby Shower, but of course I was understanding.
The Office
In the midst of this day, I found myself crying at work. While I do have to work every other Sunday, it is a short day for me, requiring about five hours in the model home...a.k.a. my office. Yesterday was not busy, and I was honestly so thankful because Saturday and the rest of the week were so full of client appointments (which really is a great thing).
My one appointment was with a woman who came in with her three children - two girls and their little brother. Turns out they were all three years apart, just like my children, but about ten years ahead of us. The kind mother had just been approved for a loan for her first home and was researching her options. She was timid yet eager to explore her options to build with us. I wanted to help her, I really did. Unfortunately, there was no way I could get her into a new home with the limited amount of her loan approval. I did the best I could to encourage her and provide advice, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes.
A few minutes after they left, I couldn't stop thinking about this mother that must be working so hard to provide a good life for her family and to give them a home. Yep, it made me cry. I hope and pray that she can find a wonderful place to call home.
A New Day
As dawn is now approaching, my tissues are wet from all these happy, sad, hormonal tears. But my heart is full and I am thankful. I have so much to give thanks for...a baby who I will soon hold, two beautiful daughters, a comfortable home, a great job, caring friends and family, and a New Day that God has given to embrace. In this new day, I am especially thankful for my husband, who shows his love in special ways, like giving his nine month pregnant wifey a pedicure yesterday morning so that I had pretty blue toes for the Baby Shower :)
Here's to hoping your days may have Happy Tears, even in the midst of the Sad Tears.
No comments:
Post a Comment