8 is Great...mostly

I remember being 8 years old. I loved it. Sitting in my third grade class, I drew and retraced the infinite 8 shape again and again, believing that 8 was such a fabulous age that we should be able to take a break from school for that year. Seriously, I thought this. I was an A student and fairly social but awkward.

Now, I have an 8 year old daughter. It's still hard for me to wrap my head around this. Adria turned 8 on September 8, being born in 2008. (Almost as cool as her Aunt Lil who turned 8 on 8/8/88).

A friend told her it was her golden birthday - your birthday when you turn the age of your birth date. Adria loved that and frequently announced it.

Adria blows out 8 candles on the Poop Emoji cake that Daddy made, at her request. Haha!

She realized this year, after having it happen in kindergarten and first grade too, that she might always be the first one in her class to celebrate a birthday, since it falls just after the start of the school year. This also makes her possibly the oldest child in her second grade class.

Short and Sweet

Of course you wouldn't know it from her height. She is one of the shortest in her class. Her petite stature still causes people who don't know her ask if she is in Kindergarten. She gets exasperated by this. But still there are times she stands in front of the mirror at home, making sure she looks good for school, and complains that she looks like a Kindergartener.

At 3' 9" tall, she's only got an inch or so on her 4 year old little sister. Let me tell you, this makes clothes shopping a challenge - especially for pants. Plus, at close to 58 lbs. with a soft belly on her, we struggle. She really needs a size 8-10 around the waist, but then the legs on those... are sooo long. We have my mom hem pants up for her, but it's easier just to buy skirts and dresses for school. Adria doesn't like pants much anyway, she thinks they look boyish.

8 year old Adria kisses her 4 year old sister Johanna after school

From a spina bifida parents group online, I know that it's super common for our special kiddos to be shorter than average. It's mostly due to the low muscle tone in their legs and how that inhibits bone growth. Adria's feet are also the same size as her little sister's.

Adria's Birthday

We made sure our girl felt special on her 8th birthday. As I drove her to school that Thursday, her Grandpa (my Dad) met us and gave her a Rose. Her class sang her Happy Birthday to start the day. My mom surprised her at lunch, enduring the noise and heat of the school cafeteria that doesn't have AC. Adria's school nurse, that she visits everyday, gave her a special TY plush toy. Then her Granny Seely met me at the school in the afternoon to hand out Emoji cupcakes and snacks to her class.

Adria and mommy had fun making these Emoji cupcakes to share with her class on her birthday.

That evening I treated Adria out to a special mommy-daughter date night. She said, "Man, it's like today has been all about ME!"  Oh, she loved it.

I brought her to dinner at Red Lobster, where she ordered her own personal snow crab legs. She could not believe she got them all to herself. And of course the wait staff sang to her, as we shared her special dessert. She was in heaven.

Birthday dinner with mommy at Red Lobster. She loved her Snow Crab and dessert!

We finished her big day with a big event. Getting her ears pierced! She had been interested for a while but was always afraid of the pain. A few weeks before she told me she wanted her ears pierced for her birthday, so I surprised her. She was still nervous, but it was the cutest thing listening to her talk herself into being brave. And barely a flinch when the lady at Piercing Pagoda inserted her pretty pink stars.

The look just before getting her ears pierced...

During ear piercing... She did not make a sound

And after...She loves her pink stars!

Adria is quite pleased with her new look and very diligent about getting me to clean them every night, so they are healing great!

Not Feeling Well

After the high of her fabulous birthday, something happened the following week. Every day before school Adria was fussy and complaining of being tired. She lost her appetite. One day her school nurse called, and she was sent home with a fever over 101. She had pain in stomach and side. We thought it was strep throat or a UTI, but a trip to the pediatrician ruled out both of those. In the end, it must have been a viral thing or a cold. We're not sure.

She's feeling better, but my girl has been struggling emotionally. At school, her teacher says she does great and is the most social one in class, even to the point of being too chatty and laughy. She comes home with math and writing papers that have an A at the top.

But at home, we are having to work hard to encourage her nightly 15 minutes of reading. Many mornings she says she wants to stay home. She is more sensitive about her differences, not appreciating that people always ask why she wears legs braces. Her reply is simply, "Because I need them to help me walk."

Adria's braces (AFOs) through the years. She gets a new pair every year, sized specifically for her. Each of these features a unique design that she chose and represents precious steps and milestones in her journey with spina bifida.

Being a "Spina Bifida Person"

She has also been complaining more than ever about her necessary potty routines. Earlier this year, Adria achieved a huge step in independence. She learned to catheterize herself! This was BIG. We and the school nurse still provide some assistance, but she can sit on the potty and do this on her own now. It's wonderful! However, Adria dislikes having to do it. She's starting to be frustrated that this is part of her life. Four to five times a day...every day...this is how Adria must empty her bladder.

Even worse is the bowel routine we have to do every other night. It's a great system, called Peristeen, that made all the difference in reducing bowel issues. She is accident free most days, though she did have a bad stinky incident at school last week.

Peristeen requires an enema and sitting on the potting for at least 30 minutes while her bowels empty. Yeah, it's kind of gross and uncomfortable. And we don't like having to do this either, but at this point it is the best solution for enabling her to live as "normal" as possible.

It can be heart-breaking though. When she'll sit there and cry. And with a twinge of anger say, "I wish I wasn't a Spina Bifida person!"

She says this often. Ugh...what is a mother to say? It's tough to know, but I try to be understanding and encouraging.

We love our Adria so much. We are so proud of how independent and confident she is. We knew the "age of awareness" would be a tough time for us all. We pray that she can stay strong and positive and continue to defy the odds and be the amazing girl we've cherished since the day we found out she was going to be a "spina bifida person."

Here's to hoping 8 is great for her too.

Twenty Years in the Making

This is a story about a life-long friend of mine. An amazing woman with a special miracle.

Tall and slender with a long braid draped over her shoulder, Marisha chatters away with a charming southern accent. She picks up her fussing baby girl and holds her close, allowing her to nurse while she continues to share stories and funny quips about life.

Such a simple, even typical, moment I experienced with her last month. Yet an incredible story lies behind it.

Marisha's youthful look belies the fact that she is 42 years old. And 11 month old Rachel, is her miracle child, born to her and her husband after 20 years of marriage. Incredible.

For years and years they had prayed for a child. She watched and supported her two sisters as their families grew and they experienced mothering new life multiple times.

Finally, after 15 years of marriage, Marisha conceived and carried a baby boy. She was filled with joy. She was a mother. Praise the Lord! Her prayers had been answered.

But...she never had the chance to cradle her son. At 16 weeks along, there were complications and her pregnancy suddenly ended. Rian Jonathan went to heaven on 7/23/10.

"I never thought after all the prayers for him that he wouldn't stay here. Even as I laid in the hospital room after he was stillborn, I felt the prayers of the Saints and that peace of God all night." 

Marisha shared these words about that heart-breaking night. She said she stayed awake all night because every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was the small form lying at the foot of her bed.

Now, she held the love of a mother. And the ache of love lost. But the hope and belief that one day she would be able to hold and raise her own child.

Marisha kept believing. A few years passed by. And during that time, she had to say goodbye to her own mother Joy, a woman who was a very special kindergarten teacher to me.

In spite of her losses, Marisha held onto hope and continued to pray for a baby when others doubted.

In 2012, she had a vivid dream about having a daughter named Rachel and a younger son named Ian. Another three years later, part of that dream became reality.

By the grace of God, that pregnancy test plus sign showed up again in early 2015! It was happening. She had not even received shots or special treatments leading up to getting pregnant. How exciting! But still nerve wracking as she prayed over that life inside her to grow healthy and strong.

As she was praying for the new life growing inside, a close relative had a new baby. Unfortunately, life choices left them in a situation where they were unfit to parent the baby. Marisha stepped in to help provide care. Suddenly, she was both pregnant and caring for another baby! Yes, very tiring.

Marisha knew in her heart that she was carrying her daughter. Even before the ultrasounds confirmed it, she knew because of the dream.

Her miracle baby entered the world on 9/19/2015 at full-term, a beautiful and healthy girl. At long last, Marisha and her husband held their baby Rachel Denice. More than twenty years after their wedding.

"God healed my broken heart, but it was completed when Rachel was born!"

This week Rachel turned one year old. She's mommy's girl with bright eyes and a big smile. Like any baby, she's been a lot of work. She wakes up nearly every hour or two in the night. Her tummy does not tolerate many foods, so she's still nursing regularly and only eating tiny bits.

On top of the normal demands of learning to be new mom, Marisha had a big responsibility added to her plate a few months ago. There are now two young children from the family that needed support, and Marisha is their full-time guardian. That's right, three little ones under the age of three are in her home at once! Fortunately, her mother-in-law has moved in to help.

It's a different picture than what she dreamed of life as a new mom. And some days, drain her completely, especially when rest at night is so elusive. But she is a mother. Her heart's desire has at long last has been fulfilled. For that, she gives glory and praise to God.

And still holds onto hope for a son to hold.

Marisha and her miracle baby Rachel