The Crime Scene in our Kitchen

Today I came home from work, gave Adrian a kiss, received sweet hugs from two little girls, and started dinner. It was a gloriously normal day. I appreciate these days.

Not all days have been so normal.

I have not shared a post about Adrian's seizures in a while because they thankfully have not impacted us for some time. Last week marked 18 months since his last grand mal seizure! Praise the Lord!

But I happened to be looking through my old journal recently and noticed that this day was not so normal four years ago. In fact, it was one of our more surprising and frightening days. It was the day I came home to what looked like a crime scene in our kitchen...

At the time, we had made the major move from Delaware to Indiana just a few months prior. We were living in a two bedroom apartment about 15 minutes from downtown Indianapolis and enjoying the change and new opportunities.

We did not think much about Adrian's seizures and any risk because he had the three in a row in Dec./January, but that was it. Countless tests and studies earlier that year had found nothing "wrong" with him, so we tossed it all out as a stress induced fluke.

But this time four years ago, we realized it was not over. Without warning or cause, it happened again.

These are the words I penned that night...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Our week just took a turn... Last night when I walked in our apartment at 7:30, Adria greeted me loudly from her seat at the card table, "Mommy's home!"

A moment later Adrian walked toward me with a dazed look on his face, almost immediately I noticed the streaks of blood on his cheek then on his hands and all over his shorts, but none on his bare chest. Fear filled me.

I asked him to open his mouth and saw the familiar gash on the side of his tongue, and then I knew...he'd had another seizure!

He was still delirious and after talking more with him later in the night, it seems to have happened around 7:00, or shortly before I got home.

I sat him down then walked around to try to figure out where it happened. First, I found his button-up shirt crumpled up on the guest bed in Adria's room. There were 2 huge circles of blood on the shoulders and smears elsewhere, but almost nothing on the bed. I was surprised to see the shirt still buttoned, since it obviously came off after the incident.

I then went to our room to look for more blood and did not find any. It was a while before I went into the kitchen and saw that was unquestionably where the seizure had happened.

Blood smears covered the wall and refrigerator with splotches on several cabinets. But it was the large puddle of blood at the base of the frig that really caused me to shudder. It looked like a crime scene, and I took pictures to prove it. I could not believe all that blood had come from a single wound.

I took this photo of our kitchen after I had cleaned up a lot of the blood. 

Blood stains on the clothes Adrian had been wearing during the seizure.

I cried. Adrian cried. Why had this happened? Why now? Why in the middle of the day when he was awake? (2 of the 3 previous had been in the night) Why was there no warning?

We held each other and let the tears fall.

Meanwhile, Adria seemed oblivious to anything unusual and kept repeating, "All done Mommy, get up."

I picked her up and held her, thankful she was okay but wondering what could happen to her if another seizure came at the wrong time and if Ade did something to unintentionally harm her in his post-distentia confusion.

So many thoughts and questions ran through my head, including, "Should we move back to Delaware?"

Adrian hasn't had a grand mal seizure since January. Plus this happened in the wake of some new challenges with Adria. 

On Wednesday we had met with the urologist, Dr. Martin Kaeffer, at Riley Hospital. The results of her urodynamics study showed that she had high pressure in her bladder and was not emptying well.

He recommended that we start her on a regular catheterization program. He said this was important because without it, there is a strong likelihood that she might need bladder enlargement surgery by the time she's 7 or 8.

We definitely weren't anticipating that news. We left the hospital with a bag of supplies to start cathing Adria every 4 hours. Ugh!

Ade had done it 2 times by himself on Thursday, and I wonder if the mental and emotional stress of starting this new routine that will continue for years had an impact on his seizure. Not sure...but it's not easy.


That was the end of my entry four years ago. It's hard to remember that day. And it's impossible to explain how it felt. May there never be another day where I have wring so much blood out of a dish towel.

But we were not left alone. Adrian's mom flew out to help us and then my husband and Adria flew back to Delaware for a week. I missed them so much.

Sweet picture of Adria enjoying the fact that Granny came to visit and help us.

Reading with Granny.

It was a day we fell down and found it very hard to get up again. But four years later, I can tell this story with the peace that we finally don't feel like we are living in constant fear of this recurring. Progress has been made, and hope is alive. May it continue!

Adrian and Adria looking good less than a month after the seizure.