An Emotional Ride

What is it about us, women? That we desire, even crave an emotional experience. To feel. To cry. To struggle to breath as our heart pounds within us. Emotion. So untrustworthy yet somehow fulfilling.

And in the day to day as we muddle through the mundane, the repetition, the constant giving of ourselves...the feelings can lie dormant. They are neatly tucked away where they can't cause trouble or disturbance in our bubble of existence.

But once in a while we allow ourselves to indulge in a fictional experience that produces real and raw emotions in us. A book that takes us to another place, time and life. A movie that transports us into another's secretly beautiful and agonizing life. A song that causes us to stop all and just listen.

They are very personal experiences. Most that we don't breathe about to anyone because those moments, those feelings are ours alone. And for some reason there is a sacredness in them. An escape from our reality...that in spite of all the blessings we have...still occasionally begs for an escape.

And so I find myself alone on my couch at midnight with shirt sleeves dampened and covered in dark smudges of mascara at the close of a movie called The Fault in Our Stars. It is one that my husband had no interest in watching, because he has absolutely no desire to indulge a wild emotional roller coaster ride for "entertainment." Life has enough real heartache and pain of its own, he says, why choose to engage in someone else's painful, fictional journey? It's a point to consider, and I can't fully say why we women often like it.

Maybe it's because even every fictional story has an element of truth, a snippet from someone's real life experience. By indulging and engaging our emotions, may we be better able to connect with others around us and their unique journey? We are created with emotions for a reason. It is healthy to feel them, understand them, and on occasion let them go for a ride just for the heck of it.

It is also healthy to control them, conceal them at appropriate times, and not rely on them to guide your life decisions.

As I sit here ready and needing to go to bed after two late nights in a row. I remember last night's emotions, primarily of joy and laughter, as I sat at kitchen table with several other women talking late into the night. For most of us, it was a rare late night out with no children or husband and we took full advantage...talking about anything and...everything! (No worries ladies, I won't tell)

I really should not have stayed out until 2 a.m. That's almost irresponsible. But we indulged in the beauty of real, face to face conversation and emotions that are more true than what a book or movie can produce.

So here's to the ride. The crazy, emotional ride of life. May we hang on tight through every high and low, and not be afraid to feel the wind in our hair.