The Bread Winner

The raised eyebrows of surprise. Yeah, I've seen that look many times before.

It usually follows my answer to the question, "What does your husband do for work?"

"He's a full-time Dad, caring for our three young children," I say with an expression of gratitude.

The eyebrows go up, but the replies vary.

Some say, "Well that's wonderful!" or "You're very lucky he can do that" or "Oh really?"

But on occasion I get this:

"Oh, so you make enough to support your family???"

Mind you, I try to be the type who is not easily offended, but questions like that...ANNOY ME.

I mean for real, is it so hard to believe that a hard-working, college-educated mother can be the sole Bread Winner for her family? It is 2016 after all.

My reply to the silly question is something like, "Yeah, usually." And laugh it off.

But what I really want to say is....

"Absolutely, I do. I've worked hard since I started baby-sitting at 12, then delivering pizza at 16, and waitressing through college. I pulled countless all-nighters to earn 2 bachelors degrees in 4 years of college and graduated with honors. I commuted 88 miles to work for 3 years at my first professional job out of college. And for the past seven years I have worked on commission, given up most of my weekends, delivered 3 babies and been the sole income earner for our family. It's not been easy, but my income has been pretty good. Yes, I can support my family. Oh, and did I mention that we have bought 4 homes and sold 2 of them. Sure, I've got a mortgage and imperfect finances, but our bills are paid and we live well.  P.S. I'm still nursing my 9 month old baby. Any more questions?"

That just quickly flashed through my mind is all. It clearly sounds way to egotistical and rude to really say.

And I know the real truth. I am who I am, and I provide what I do by the grace God alone. He has provided the opportunities and abilities. I have simply worked hard to take advantage of those I can. And when life forced tough decisions on my husband and I, we together decided what was best for our family.

And if someone wants to say to my husband, "Oh you're so lucky, you get to stay home all day."

He might want to come back with something like...

"You really think so? You know I've done a lot of things. Worked many tough jobs. I was a logger, a salesman, a construction manager, a painter, a small business owner, a fireplace installer, a youth leader, and an over-the-road truck driver who's been through all 50 states except Hawaii. I have three of the best kids a father could hope for and love them dearly. But for the past 7 years...did you catch that...SEVEN YEARS...I have been home with our children every day my wife is at work. I tried some at home business ideas but nothing materialized. My job is changing dirty diapers, feeding cranky kids, constantly cleaning something, folding laundry, scrubbing toilets, breaking up girl fights, working around my wife's piles of...who knows what, maintaining the lawn and landscaping, washing dishes, maintenancing vehicles and a myriad of other tasks that endlessly repeat themselves. Day after day. Year after year. It is by far, the toughest job this man has ever had. Do you want to trade?"

Of course, that would just leave them with a blank stare and probably even less understanding of the unique role my husband fulfills.

And we know the real truth. In spite of the challenges, it is an incredible privilege for him to spend so much time with our children - and snuggle often with his baby boy. For him to experience all of their "firsts" and be the one influencing their futures. And by providing all he does, he makes it possible for me to provide how I do. We just wish it FELT this warm and fuzzy more often!

We are a Team. I may be the Bread Winner, but he is every bit as much the one who supports our family.

Questions are good, they show you care. Just try to avoid the silly ones ;) And cheer us on. We really need the extra support some days. We all do.

I hope you don't mind a little sassy post!