She wants a little brother (and a big one!)

The conversations we have with our daughters are amusing to say the least. Especially Adria...she started talking pretty fluently by the time she was two. Johanna has not quite kept up.

The other day my five year old started a conversation while I was catheterizing her on the changing table. Normally, she likes to play "I Spy with my Little Eye" while we take care of her needs, but this day she had something else on her mind.

My 5 year old dresses as "peacock" by day and contemplates life's big questions by night.

It went down something like this...

"Mommy, I really want a little brother." - Adria

"Oh yeah? Do you want Mommy to have another baby?" - Me

"Yes! And a big brother too!" - Adria

"Whoa! Slow down. Why do you want a brother?" - Me

"Silly mom, we need a brother in our family!" - Adria (Naturally, this is the way of things to a 5 year old)

"I don't know, honey. If mommy had a baby it could be another girl." - Me

"No, it would have to be a boy. There are already two girls!" - Adria (Since we obviously get to choose these types of things...)

"I know, and I love my two girls. It might be fun to have a little brother." - Me

"And a big brother too!" - Adria

"Now that would be very difficult. Mommy can't have a baby older than you!" - Me (Of course, adoption could make this happen, but that's not something we plan to pursue.)

"But Mom, I really want a big brother. I need to marry him when I'm grown up." - Adria (Ohhh, there's the reason...but where did that come from?)

"Sweetie, people don't marry their brothers. That's not how it works." - Me

"But Daddy is your brother." - Adria (Wonder why she thinks that?)

"Daddy is not my brother. Uncle Cam and Uncle Aaron are my brothers. I can't marry my brothers, silly." - Me

At this point, she gets a deeply troubled look on her face as apparently my words crush the framework of logic this little girl had established in her mind. And I really have no idea where this idea that we marry our brothers came from. She's almost teary-eyed as she responds.

"But Mom, then who will I marry? Who will be my husband?" - Adria (Sigh, isn't that basically life's biggest question for every woman...and my 5 year old daughter is asking me! I know many fantastic women my age and older who are still hoping for an answer to that question.)

"I don't know, Adria, but I hope that one day you meet a man who loves you and wants to marry you. Daddy loves Mommy and that's why we are married. You don't need to worry about that now, sweetie." - Me (Let's go back to talking about the little brother...that was easier!)

This is not the first conversation we've had about needing a little brother or wanting to get married - you can read that one HERE. But it was my first time hearing about needing an older brother to marry. After I relayed this conversation to Daddy, he said that she's asked him about that before. Who knows where they get these ideas? She does have two girl cousins with older brothers, but still.

Hanging with her friends. Maybe one of these boys could be her future husband?
Hahaha! - they are the sons of my two good friend Normie and Kathleen.

But man, in one conversation she wants to cover everything from Mommy having more babies to her future life partner. These are not easy discussions!

At least it was much lighter than a conversation that she had with Daddy not too long ago, where she asked a lot of questions about Why she is different. He's better at handling those I think.

I have a feeling that we are in for many deep conversations over the years with this little girl. Her mind is always going and finding the path it believes is most logical. I hope this serves her well in life.

She certainly knows how to put Mommy on the spot!

Confidence in the Water

It's amazing how much can change in a year with a child.

Last summer Adria was very hesitant when it came to the water and swimming. She was afraid to swim around with just a life vest or any kind of floating device on her own. She had to be held and very gradually eased into the water. She often screamed at first and hated the feel of the wet bathing suit on her skin.

And the ocean? Forget it. We took Adria and Johanna to the beach last July for the first time in a while. Adria loved the sand, and she even impressed us by walking on the beach barefoot! However, when we tried to take her down to the water she SCREAMED. She would barely allow the water from the crash of a wave to run over her toes. In all honestly, I was annoyed and worried about her extreme apprehension of water.

I have always loved swimming, and it was a major part of my summer fun as a child. I really wanted Adria to like it, especially since I thought it would be great exercise and "therapy" for her legs to kick in the water.

All in good time... this summer is a completely different story. With almost no prodding or pushing, Adria has taken to the water this year and LOVES IT! We have enjoyed my aunt's pool several times already, gone to a friend's pool birthday party, and went to the beach this week. Instead of avoiding the water, Adria doesn't want to get out! She'll swim around for hours with just her swimming vest on, and this time she screams when it's time to leave. Silly girl.

It is such a joy to watch her fully embrace this activity that is so good for her. And little sister Johanna is becoming quite the fish too. But Jo-Jo would rather get out of the pool and repeatedly jump and splash into my arms than actually stay in the water. And at the beach, she prefers throwing sand into the water.

Let's take a look at some photos from last year and this year.

2013

Adria swimming with Grandma's help last summer at Aunt Bon's pool

 Johanna catching up with some friends at the pool :)

Adria being held by my brother Cameron last year

Beach day last July...more about sand than water

2014

Things are different this summer, as Adria embraces her independence in the water!

Whether in a big pool or the kiddie pool in Grandma's backyard, these girls LOVE the water.

And, I'm surprised at how confident they are this year with the crashing waves of the ocean on Delaware's shores. We had a great day at the beach this week with my sister and her family visiting from Vermont. Our favorite family beach is Cape Henlopen State Park in Lewes, Del. where both Adrian and I spent many hours in the sand and waves as children.

We arrived early on a weekday and claimed a great spot.

Aunt Lil watches as the girls are testing the sand and couldn't wait to get to the water

Adria wanted Uncle Keith to help her play in the waves.
She did not want to stop!

And of course Daddy took his turn with Adria in the waves.

Johanna enjoying the water with Mommy.

About an hour after we arrived, a kid's summer camp with 100+ children around 10 years old sat down right behind us...Suddenly, our great beach spot wasn't as nice, but we made the most of it and tried to avoid loosing our own children in the crowd.

We had quite a few kids of our own with some of Keith's extended family joining us for the day.

When the water was too full of people, we played in the sand.

Adria, Sophie, Asher and Jo are trying to bury my legs and make me a mermaid :)

Johanna as a sand mermaid...cutie pie

My man and I with Jo-Jo. We took the girls out into the water but it really was chilly!

They have a plan...

Where did Keith go? Is there something under that towel?

Peek-a-boo! The kids and Lil completely buried Keith.

After the sand and water, we headed to Funland on Rehoboth's boardwalk.
This place has been around since my Dad was a child and is still one of the most affordable places for rides and games. My siblings and I came here as children, and I'm quite sure there's a picture somewhere of my sister Lilli and I riding the same ride my little girls are enjoying here.

I even took a ride on the Paratrooper, which provides some great views as you fly around in circles.

Adria's cousin Sophie was just tall enough to join her mom on the Paratrooper.

The classic boardwalk ride.

While Adria impressed me with her confidence in the water that day, she also showed new confidence on the rides...

It was her first time riding one of the horses on a carousel!
Previously, she was afraid of them and would only agree to sit with me on a carousel bench.
I'm not certain of her fear, but I suspect it's related to the reduced sensation in her legs and being worried she would fall off. But she road like a champ and is now a big fan.
(I think it helped that she saw all her cousins riding it too!)

Some of our family milestones are big and dramatic while others are small and almost go unnoticed. Seeing Adria gain confidence and independence in areas like swimming and riding the horse on a carousel are definitely exciting little moments worth celebrating!

The Electric Shock that was almost the End

      Be advised: this post has some content that honestly makes me slightly queezy just writing it. But then again, I have a very weak stomach...

     Yesterday, I was standing at the front desk at work in Greenwood when a loud crash boomed outside and I looked out to see two smashed vehicles careening through the intersection. It almost appeared in slow motion as I watched the air bag deploy and saw the fear in a young woman's eyes. My boss was out there checking on them even before I could step out. Though the 3 women involved were clearly shaken up, they appeared to be mostly okay. Both vehicles had to be towed away.

Still, it shook me up a bit to witness that accident happening so close. It reminded me of a June day eight years ago when I was passed out in the driver's seat of our car, while Adrian sat next to me with a huge gash in his our arm. But it was no car accident...      

     The sun shown bright that day as I sat on our newly built deck reading a magazine. We were just a week away from moving into our first home, the one that we had built in Greenwood, Del. Adrian was inside the house hooking up our washer and dryer when the peaceful morning was shattered with a terrifying scream! 

I had never heard a sound like that come from my husband before. It felt like I could not move fast enough as I tried to leap from my chair and run into the house to find the source of this desperate cry.


     My husband came out of the laundry room with an enormous gash in his right forearm. It was several inches long and so deep and wide that I could clearly see the muscle beneath his skin… Gags. Somehow, I held it together and quickly grabbed a towel for him to rest his arm on and said, "Get in the car!"

This is the dryer in our Greenwood home that caused the frightening electric shock

     We were both in shock and just reacting quickly, so I didn’t think to call anyone before we left. I just wanted to get him to the hospital a.s.a.p. The nearest hospital was about 20 minutes away in Seaford.

     As I drove, Adrian’s arm began to bleed more heavily in the passenger seat beside me. It was more than I could handle. My head began to spin and my stomach lurched as that all too familiar feeling came over me. I was going to faint. I knew it.

In an attempt to fend it off, I rolled down the window, stuck my head out and tried to sing. It wasn’t going to work. With no time to spare, I pulled over to the shoulder and put the car in park. My world went black.

Amazingly, Adrian remained aware and sent a text to his parents that said something like, “An accident happened. Julles fainted. On way to hospital. Please come get us.”

They were just 10 minutes away and hopped in their van right away. Later they said they had thought we had a car accident from his message…thankfully, we were able to avoid that.

Before they arrived, I began to emerge from my unconscious state and slowly gather recollection of what had just happened. A man was standing by my window looking alarmed by our situation. He offered me a drink of water out of a rather nasty plastic cup. Thanks, but no thanks. He was trying to be helpful, but we let him know help was on the way.

Soon Adrian’s parents pulled up and we were on our way again, this time with me lying down in the back.

At the hospital, we had a most interesting ER Doctor with a great sense of humor. He asked what happened. Adrian explained that he had been working on installing our dryer and had just plugged it in. He was trying to adjust something inside when the 220 electric volt shocked his arm and held him there. He had to brace his left arm against the wall to pull free. The powerful electric shock cut his arm open.

The doctor listened, almost intrigued. He asked Adrian why he had put his left arm on the wall instead bracing it against the dryer, which would have been the more natural instinct. Adrian didn’t know, that was just his response. The doctor went on to explain. He said that it was amazing Adrian was sitting there with just the arm injury. If Adrian had put his left arm on the dryer to pull away his right arm, the electric current would have passed through his heart. That shock could have easily killed him!

Suddenly, we were humbled and thankful that there was only a huge gash on his arm. Adrian’s life had been spared again. It was not the first time he’d experienced a brush with death, and it would not be the last.  

The doctor proceeded to stitch up his wound. He trimmed off a long piece of skin that was dangling from Adrian’s arm, held it up and said, “Do you want a beggin’ strip for your dog?” Gross.....but it brought some levity to our dramatic morning.

Though it has been eight years since this event happened, there remains a large scar on Adrian’s forearm. It serves as a constant reminder that life is fragile, yet he is resilient.

   Adrian's scar has faded over the years, but it still covers a large area on his forearm.

When Adrian’s seizures began three years later, we did question whether this event could have any impact on his brain activity and be a contributing factor to the seizures' sudden arrival. I believe the doctors agreed that it was possible, but not likely.

      We leave you with 3 life lessons from this experience.

    1. Always be aware of the power of electric and its dangers.

    2. Call for assistance when a minor trauma has occurred, especially if you’re prone to faint.

    3. Be thankful for the little miracles in life. Be thankful for life.

If you look closely, you can see the scar on Adrian's right 
forearm about a year after the incident.

A Father's Love

This Father's Day, I want to say Thank You to a man who loves his daughters beyond comprehension, who sacrifices so much for them, who always knows what they need, and who has always been there.

Adrian, you have faced challenges unlike many fathers and yet through it all you made the choice each day to give the best you could that day for our girls. You have said many times, they are the ones who keep you going.

As I looked back through photos and memories, I could not help but wonder how many are lost to you...how many of these precious memories did the seizures take away? I hope this can help you relive some of your most intimate moments of fatherhood.

Daddy and his girls last year on Father's Day

You Have Been There

From the Beginning You have been there

You held my hand when I delivered our firstborn 

You fell completely in love from the moment you laid eyes on her

And her uniqueness made you love her even more

You were there for Adria when I was recovering from my surgery and could not be

You sat with her for hours in the NICU after her back surgery

You were the first to hold her

You held her when she needed you most

You were the first to feed her

When mommy could not be there to feed her, you did

You were the first to pat her back and hear her baby burp

Though many strings attached were attached to her, none were as fastened as your heart strings

From those first days, your bond with her was precious and unique

None of us realized then how deep and enduring your bond would be

But then again, maybe you did

You knew your life was completely changed

And you were the love she knew those first four days 

You held her close and promised to give her your best

And she knew you meant it

You wiped her tears

And calmed her fears

You told her about mommy, so we could bond too

You brought her home

And taught her to relax

And introduced her to Max

You held her close and let her feel your heart beat

You smiled as she slept

Early on you took her to the beach

And the Zoo

You always let her rest on your chest

You smiled back at her

You celebrated your 30th birthday with her

You snuggled with your two favorite little ones

You fell asleep together

You dedicated her life to God

You gave her the first sip of coffee (bad boy ;)

She had you totally wrapped around her finger, as she wrapped her fingers around yours

You walked with her through storms

You carried her through personal storms

You were her greatest comfort after brain surgery at six months old

And her biggest support when she started wearing her leg braces

She looked so much like you

Even from behind

You traveled with her

You were there with her in the Pocono Mountains

As we celebrated our 5th Anniversary

And for Christmas in Vermont

You were there with her in Ocean City, MD

And in the hills of Maine...

You gave her the chance to explore

You were there on Delaware beaches

You carried her on your shoulders

And even let her eat your hair

You worked together

You celebrated together

And when you first Fell Down, she stood by your side

In fact, at 16 months she had just learned to stand while holding on

She even prayed for you

You introduced her to a new life in Indianapolis

Where she stood tall on your shoulders

And enjoyed the White River Gardens

The Indy State Fair

The impressive Children's Museum

The charm of Nashville, Indiana in the fall

The beautiful state forests

The Eiteljorg Museum

The elephants at the Indianapolis Zoo

And walks along the city skyline

You were there when she got her first taste of the Caribbean

Relaxing in the sun 

And the waters of Turks & Caicos

You introduced her to horses

When you needed her comfort, she was there for you

You were there when I needed a photographer to celebrate our second daughter coming

You were there when Johanna

Made your heart grow even larger

You were completely taken by this second daughter too

You cared for them during the long days in Virginia

You always were the best at calming them down

You took Johanna for rides on tractors

And helped her love the ocean too

You carried Johanna on your shoulders

And slid down hills

You even tried to teach her your favorite sport, disc golf

You encourage them to read

Whether their books or yours

You go to great lengths

Just to give them a little extra joy

You know when to have fun

And when to hold them close

You encourage them to keep trying

And help with life's tough decisions (what color braces)

You even surprised them with a giant snowman

You give sweet Daddy kisses

And just the other day you introduced them to a Horseshoe crab

YOU ARE THE BEST FATHER OUR GIRLS COULD EVER HAVE

Because you are always There

You teach them our Father's Love by selflessly giving yours.

With Love and Gratitude,

Your Wifey