But as I walked hand in hand with my 5 year old through the school hallway yesterday, I couldn't help noticing that most of the 20+ children that passed by us looked at Adria's face then down at her feet. Each one looked at her, then looked down. It happened again and again as they proceeded single file past us. I'm sure it was completely innocent curiosity as they eyed those pink plastic things on her legs with purple hearts - her DAFO leg braces. Still, it caused a stir in this mother's heart...
An awareness of her uniqueness. A fear for how she might be treated. A hope that she continues to have the confidence and bubbly personality that quickly makes her differences disappear.
She, of course, ambled happily down the hall to her group of friends in the Woodbridge "Hooray for K" summer camp. Summer school and summer camps for kids of all ages are in session at the school where Adria will attend kindergarten this fall.
Every morning this week I have dropped her off for a half day, and she has loved it. When I told her I was taking her to school, she proclaimed, "Yeah, I finally get to go to Kindergarten!"
I tried to explain that she still has a couple months before that starts but did not quite get it. I know that she will love school, just as she loved pre-school, but being there surrounded by slightly older children who seemed to be more keenly aware of her left me with moist eyes as I left the school and headed to work. She will be totally fine, I told myself.
The morning's events did not make things easier. I received a fax at work from AI duPont Children's Hospital that I had to fill out detailing the bowel routine we currently do for Adria every day. Bottom line, it's not working well anymore and she still has stinky diapers, so we are applying for an all-new "anal irrigation" program... Those are two words you never read about in What to Expect when You're Expecting.
Just as I completed the forms and faxed them back to her urologist, I had to make a dreaded call for work. In my line of work, serious issues can arise when dealing with several hundred thousand dollar homes, and I needed to call a client about something I knew would not be well received. And as I expected, she was quite upset and continued to contact me late into the day.
No, it was not a terrible day. I have had much worse. But it left me feeling drained.
I found some refreshment in the evening swimming with the girls and a friend at my aunt's pool. I took a few moments to hold Adria close and ask her about her day. She told me about the mini pancakes she had for breakfast and the finger painting project she was excited to show me at home.
Then she looked me in the eye and said in a matter of fact tone, "Mommy, I wish I was like everybody else. I wish I didn't have to wear braces."
I know, sweetie. I know.
Apparently, the older children in the hall weren't the only ones noticing Adria's leg braces, she herself seemed keenly aware of them. She did not cry or anything. It was just a statement.
I asked her if she understood why she had to wear them, and she said, "Yeah...so my feet don't hurt." Yes, that's part of it, but the main reason is to provide her the support she needs to not fall down. She really is so very fortunate to even be able to walk.
Today, as if perfectly ordained, a package arrived that brought a positive light to her braces. It was addressed to Adria and came from Cascade DAFOs - the company that makes her leg braces. Inside the box was an XS purple t-shirt, a coffee mug, and a super nice pair of seamless socks specifically designed for AFOs. I actually entered a Facebook contest on their page and won this a couple weeks ago! It arrived at the perfect time. Adria was super excited to try on her new gear ;)
Thank you, Cascade, for "Helping kids lead healthier, happier lives." Thank you, for helping her be excited about her braces.
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| Adria tries on her new T-shirt and socks that arrived free from Cascade today! |
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| Adria standing proud in her Cascade DAFOs with new socks and shirt. |
Tears for all the Adrias of the world and the mommies who love them.
ReplyDeleteI had a foster daughter once who was fairly functional but mentally somewhat challenged. She had been bumped around and abused and used and when she came to us, she was a young adult. I remember her saying to me one day, "Mom, I'm slow and I KNOW I'm slow and I will always be slow and I HATE IT!" My heart broke for her -- as well as for the decisions she made every day that only made things worse for herself. I sometimes wondered what would have been different if she would have had a different childhood -- if she had been loved and cared for and protected and encouraged. 20 years old is a little late to start reprogramming. It isn't impossible, but it doesn't happen very often. It didn't happen for Charlene.
The thing is, Julie-girl, the love and security that you are giving Adria and the tools that you are helping her develop will help to hold her steady in the years ahead. Knowing that she can always crash into your love and understanding has given and will give her courage and hope. May our Heavenly Father continue to give the same to you -- as well as wisdom and peace.
She is a beautiful girl and I agree with the above comment. The best thing you can do to help prepare her is to love her unconditionally and by just starting to read your posts today, I can tell that you already do!
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